I was once told, "those most connected to spirit often have trouble aligning with time and earth."
I find this to be true of me, not in an arrogant sense, but in a very real sense. I can get lost in a grocery store, I live inside of my head quite a bit and I loose track of time. To me, time is not fluid enough. Now you might say that time is very fluid, it is in constant motion, thus pushing us forward to another day. HOWEVER, my opinion is this, fluid, if I was to go into a pool, the water around me is in constant motion, yet I stand still and it still supports me. It does not steal anything away from me or force me forward. I could choose to float or sink in a pool, thus essentially choosing to stay and relax in one place and float around in different locations as I please or sink to the bottom and move around. Whatever I choose to do the water shifts with me, bring new water with me and taking old water back. Okay so that is hard for some to grasp.
To me what is happening now essentially may as well have happened last week or next week. Time has little to no meaning and the things on this earth lack realism. This is more cartoonish than I could explain to anyone. I said something when I was younger that makes sense now to me, "My dreams are my reality and my reality is just a dream." That is pretty much how I function.
This is my explanation as to why I have not been posting. Oddly enough my world seems to be in a state of chaotic movement and yet it is stagnant. I am loosing track of time. Hours are gone from my day and I am not sure where they go. I say this as I look at the clock switching over to 11:13pm.
Holy late night batman.
The other thing that has been baffling me lately is ME. Working as a spiritual person with others, I often feel less than. Why is that? Not because of anything anyone has ever said but because I am afraid one day it is all going to go away. Weird eh?
I have been trying to manifest stuff for me, it isn't working. I think perhaps I have some blocks up that are super ingrained from childhood. I think I have the, "I don't deserve," "someone better than I should have," "maybe someone else could use this more than I can," "people don't really want to help me succeed." People always pushed me down, I never had support and the support I did have was manipulative. So the question is, how do we get rid of negative self talk.
Meditate and ask for it to be removed. I feel like good things are just around the corner but sometimes, the corner just seems so far away. Somedays, despite how connected to the universal "god" I feel, I feel trapped in some craptastic story line that I just can't change.
Change is coming, I need to focus on that and stop being a poo poo head! How is that for enlightening. Why am I spilling my GUTS? BECAUSE I HAVE A POINT!
Yah for having a point!
The point is we all have lessons we are working through. We all have some great hurdle to cross and mine is self esteem. Mine is self worth and self appreciation and self. Mine is believing in who I am. I think in some ways that is very true for everyone, believing in who they are. Believing in something, just believing. We all have lessons, that is what this earth plane is about, and we can all get over them and move forward. WE can and WE will, if we work together in spiritual cohesiveness.
No comments:
Post a Comment