Monday, July 25, 2011

The Truth

The truth is my life is changing.
I have been praying for years now that "GOD" (insert your own definition here) give to me an option that is sustainable, move forward to a week ago.
I went to do a reading for a friend of a friend.  She wanted to barter with me as she was moving and offered to let me take things for my daughter.  She told me if I knew anyone who wanted to rent her house and daycare to let her know.
I called my husband and he said, "you should do it."  I should.  I should..  I shoud?!  I should!  YES I SHOULD!  By golly God gave this to me and yes it requires some blood, sweat, tears, butterflies (in the belly only, no butterflies will be harmed in moving forward in my life) and some initial debt to become debt free.
God always answers, just not always in the way you expect.
Be prepared, coming soon will be meditation classes with yours truly.  You will be invited.


Sunday, July 24, 2011

I really didn't know....

I really didn't know.....

There are a few things in life I really didn't know....  Things I thought I knew but I didn't really.....

1.  Truly letting go of the past....
2.  Accepting others for who they are....
3.  Finding happiness when things are going wrong.....
4.  Truly and honestly loving myself....
5.  Forgiveness....  All of it, purity of....
6.  Myself....

We all live and we all think we are living to our true and authentic selves.  We think we truly love ourselves unconditionally and then we pick ourselves apart.  It isn't the picking ourselves apart, it's the using it against ourselves.  "I can't wear this I am too fat, I have Acne, this scar is ugly no one can love me," whatever negative self talk we use against ourselves.  Preventing ourselves from feeling good.

Accepting others for who they are, and that means not judging.  Can we really say that we have never judged someone, "that person is a killer, they are bad."  You have made the judgement that they are bad.  Finding balance with our spiritual self and our ego is important.  Saying, "I hope that person finds peace for the things he has done."  Would that be judgemental?  I mean we are born and from an early age geared to make judgements so that we can survive.  If we all sat around doing nothing, well we would starve to death.  At some point we realize, "if I cry like this, Mom will feed me."  We make the judgement on if I do A then B will happen.  This is what we are geared for, trained for so how can we ever truly accept people, all people?  Honestly, we probably can't, but it is something we should strive for.

I am struggling now through some changes, the unfoldment process of spiritual growth and really dredge up some stuff we think is dead and buried.  We need to learn to truly let things go and how to forgive it starts with love.  It starts with loving ourselves and forgiving ourselves for not truly letting go of things.  Then we need to focus on that terrible thing that happened and send it love, Lot's of love.  Keep sending lots of love to it and tell yourself, them, it, the moment that you forgive.   You forgive.  You need to forgive.

We all think we know how to do this but do we really know?
We know what we want to do, maybe not how to....
Maybe we know how to but think we have already completed the task....
Most things in life require us to occasionally visit them and heal again, to refocus love to ourselves, to love unconditionally again.  To forgive, to forgive and to forgive. 

Sometimes what we think we know we don't know and what we do know we need to view again.  Sometimes, we don't even know where we get our beliefs....

Sometimes, we really just don't know like we think we know.

Saturday, July 23, 2011


Good news!

I am moving....

I will start having healing groups and meditations. 
Spiritual discussions, tea, snacks. 

It will be about growth, thoughts, open discussion forum but for a few months, mostly healing.  Then we will get down to a more structured class.

Shhhh, listen, have you been getting your messages? 

I am sorry I have been MIA

I have been missing in action, not out of choice but rather my blogger program has been less than cooperative.

So back a while ago I talked about creating what you want in life. That is visualization....

I have read and heard so many books and trains of thought on the ability to manifest what you want in your life. Most people think it's horse crap and I get it and I thought that way too. I mean after all, what the freak do you want me to believe. I have been trying to manifest the 100,000,000 winning lotto ticket so I can save the world and it hasn't happened yet.

Well, this past week I was given a swift kick in the rear by the powers that be. I think one of the things is that when you ask the Universe for Something you need to be aware of what you are asking for and watch for it. We want it dropped in our lap and sometimes, just sometimes it is dangled in front of us. We ask "God" how this is fair and here is the truth, you have to sometimes put a little work into obtaining this "thing" to prove that you really want this change.

Oh and just because you get what you ask for, doesn't mean it was right for you. Perhaps it's just a lesson learned to be careful what you wish for.

It is true that ignorance is bliss but hear me out for a second.
1. If you truly want something you can get it, be prepared to put a little effort in yourself.
2. They don't grant lotto wishes, so just stop, I have tried for years with the best intentions to open my home to foster kids, donate to CT Children's Hospital and other various donations and assistance. So far, all my good intentions with the money, saving the majority of CT's struggling families falls on deaf ears. I guess that is not in the big plan.
3. Pray once in a while, pray for love, light and peace with in yourself
4. When the going gets tough, get your ass up and move forward.

So that is it, my pearls of wisdom. It appears that I am being given a chance to open a daycare and move. I have been asking for this for a while. However, I can not take my disabled father with me. Eventually he will need to go into disability housing, truth is, I think this is God's way of making him find some more Independence and friends so he is less depressed also. Be prepared, often the things you want most require big changes from you.