Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Stronger Through the Glue


Lack of acceptance
Lack of love
Hurtful words

Words hurt, actions hurt and we are left flailing in the sea of change and uncertainty.  In a world where people don't have the words to help because you don't know where it broke.  The only person who can glue your pieces back together is you.  People can love you and support you but they can not fix that broken part of you. 

When we are betrayed our hearts break, our souls yearn for understanding.  We truly all are as pure as children and when we are harmed in anyway our soul goes, "Why would this happen to me?"  Once we move past the "why me" we can start gluing that which is broken back together.  I think the biggest mistake we make is trying to remain the same after all the chaos though.

When we are broken in anyway we can not possibly be exactly who we were before.  There are pieces that never get found.  There are pieces, missing pieces that will never fit right.  It's okay though.  Instead of trying to put ourselves back together the way we were it is our time to see who we can be by rebuilding something new.  This is not a rushed process by any means.  This is a slow and steady process of looking at each piece that is left and imagining what it could be.  This should be exciting and new but it is also a bit scary. 

I have always said I want to be who I used to be.  I realized more than ever that isn't true.  I don't want to still be scared of being on stage.  I don't want to still be afraid to go out to the city by myself.  I don't want to be afraid of telling people I see and talk to Dead People.  It isn't a healthy part of who I was.  I was in self protective mode all of my life.  Truth is I want to see where I am going in the future. 

Life is too short to worry about how to fit things back together exactly how they are and now we can start building ourselves into exactly what we want.  Guess what, we might get broken again but stronger and stronger we become with the more glue we use.  Eventually, becoming what we are meant to be.  This break in my life, it didn't shatter all of me.  I still have a strong core from years of fixing. 

I don't love the "Phoenix" concept because the Phoenix rises from the ashes the same.  Truth is, once we go down like that, we are never the same. 

How does your Garden Grow?  What part of yourself are you trying to preserve that serves no purpose any longer?

Blessings of love and light.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

The Fork in The Road

I remember very vividly an interview with Adam Levine, one that I thought struck me as funny.  He had said, “I am never going to get married, I love doing my own thing too much.”  I remember being that person too, and then I got married and now that is falling apart around me.

I am not sure that marriage is a necessary thing for everyone but I see people who thrive in marriage and other’s who don’t.  I have come to realize that I am craving a true, strong, soul to soul connection.  If we ended up married eventually fine but if not that would be fine too.  I have seen people who have dreamy ideals and others who look at it as a means to an end.  I was looking at it as a means to an end in some ways.  I was alone, scared, taking care of my son, a disabled father and I had no idea how I was going to manage my life at all.  I wanted to run away and I did.  I ran to a wonderful, kind, generous man who made an unforgivable mistake. 

I then thought we found a solution but we didn’t.  It was just impacting me in a way that made me doubt my self worth in general and not trust my own heart at all.  I met a friend, very accidently.  It sounds like some romantic fairy tale and that can happen, even in friendships.  We go in to something expecting one outcome and getting another.  I went in to get a tattoo and left with a friend.  Someone I find to be very much a symbol of all the things I am inside, a reflection of me in ways.  He has made me see, with out saying a word, that I was lying to myself.

I think the world of this new friend, so much so I probably give him more credit than he is used to.  Being a mirror to someone is a weird and wonderful gift that we never really realize we do.  As I have said I am a tattered patch work quilt, filled with torn pieces of broken dreams.  I am still warm and useful.  I am not a solid quilt and I am sure I will find more pieces and connect with others that will help me rebuild the beauty of my life.  For the first time in a long time I feel like I have it all in front of me to put together.  I feel like my life is an endless possibility of laughter and happiness.  This isn’t an easy transition but a much needed step out into the world of, “here I am!” 

As my friend said, “take time to figure yourself out.”  I have, I know who I am and what I want.  I want to be friends with someone, hold their hand, laugh, have no expectations, and it would be really cool if someone asked me out to dinner or to just hang out.  Otherwise I will be contently sitting at home working on my family, book, business and self.  I want someone who has their own life, dreams, aspirations and friends.  I will dream of that which may come, I will plan more vacations, spend more time traveling.  I will work on trying new things, who knows, maybe someday I will jump out of the plane.  

The biggest thing is I will be alive again.  That is more valuable than anything else.   

Why do I open myself up to be so vulnerable and honest, because I am a Medium!  I do not have all the answers and I must learn my lessons also.  I have to take the hard road sometimes.  It is a good road though, it builds strength, character and back bone.  
This is the year of changes and all of them will lead us to positive roads.   

Opening our hearts up to the endless possibilities that are around us allows us to find the true joy in living.   

I love you my dear friend and am so thankful for you in many ways.  I know you have said the same to me, the appreciation but sometimes we never really know how we impact each others lives.  I see your walls and I ignored them and you reached past the, “I’m great where I am at” wall and made me long for something different.   

Life is short, and we need to remember to teach our children to live it beautifully and embrace all the people who come into our lives.  From a 15 minute consult to what I hope leads to a life long friendship, I am grateful for my Raven, the bringer of messages. 
(Please note I did not make any edits to this post so any spelling or grammatical errors are here for the pure emotion in which it took to write this BLOG.) 

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The Curtis House Restaurant and Inn my new love

            There are a few things I am passionate about, what I do and History.  NOT the history in history books but the stuff I hear and see.  My father Lyman Lamarre was a carpenter and we would often go through old homes, watch, “This Old House” together.  When I walk into an older home it’s like going home for me every single time.  This was the experience at The Curtis House Restaurant and Inn. 
Just a side note, when I started on this journey, I had no idea how much I would fall in love with this place.  Or perhaps how much this place fell in love with me.  Maybe even the way we fell in love together. 
            (The story unfolds) 

            I got a text from a very sweet client named Amy asking if I would consider doing an event at The Curtis House Inn.  I said it sounded interesting but was not sure if I wanted to do such a big event.  It seemed a bit taxing but I said I would talk to her sister.  I was excited but nervous because as many of you know, I hate people to leave with out a reading. 

            I later spoke to Dorie, Amy’s sister and talked.  As we were talking a lady came through and told me I had to go and, “Talk to her first she had things to say.”  A few weeks later I went and did a walk through like I would for any “haunted’ house.  This house is NOT haunted it is alive with HISTORY.  The stories the spirits told me made me so happy.  I never felt so at peace after leaving and left an impression on Dorie and the family.   

            Some of you may have heard the story about a spirit named Betty; well her name IS Elizabeth and would like to be called Elizabeth.  She is a lovely lady and sometimes she bother spirit but it’s because of something the people do in the room, so you best behave in that space.  I talked to a lovely man in the kitchen who is excited about the future plans for the menu.  If you have a chance to eat here I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE IT.  THE FOOD IS AMAZING. 

            Move forward to the day of the Gallery, Dorie took care of every last detail and the staff was beautiful.  We wanted to do a trial run and I WANT people to see this place.  Needless to say we had an amazing turn out; we sold all 30 seats and had others who were sorry to miss it.  I managed to give a reading to all 30 people in two hours and ten minutes.  Any Medium who does readings will tell you this is a near impossibility and I agree.  I feel 100% that the spirits want to see more people here and they want this place to thrive.  They helped me help people and that is a beautiful combination.  I also can’t guarantee that will happen again. 

            In the end I went there again today, I walked in to a home, not a restaurant, not a bar, not an Inn I walked into a home.  Not any home, MY HOME, YOUR HOME, THEIR HOME.  Spirit wants people to be home here.  I have another event coming up there, and I will do a 100 more if it brings 1000 more people through the doors.  This place is beautiful, it is a home filled with past Inn Keepers and head Chefs trying to preserve history, to preserve their home.  OUR HOME! 

Below are links to The Curtis House Restaurant and Inn


October 24, 2015

5:30pm to 9:00pm

We start at 6pm with a paranormal talk; I will talk about ghost verses spirit.  The scariest things I have seen and investigations I have done.

7:-00pm-9:00pm Gallery Readings 

We also discussed the idea of offering rooms at a discounted rate so that you can stay after and take a tour of the building.  You get to hear some history and get some first hand account of the history.  I am also going to try to get some ghost stories to share.  I will talk about investigating etc, this is a very special home to me so I ask that if you stay you plan to have a great deal of respect for the living history in this home.  (MORE DETAILS TO COME)


How does your Garden Grow? 
Tell me, where are your other homes?

Monday, April 13, 2015

Compete with no one....

In any job field there seems to be some competitiveness for jobs.  We are always trying to prove ourselves to others. 
  • We are better than.... 
  • We can do more work than.... 
  • We provide more results than....
  • We are smarter than....
  • We have more college than....
  • We have more certificates than.....
We try so hard to prove ourselves to others but more often we prove ourselves by comparing ourselves to other people.  We battle for supremacy over other human beings.  Where has that gotten us?

I am not a better mother than....
I am not a better wife than....
I am a better Medium than....
I am a better house cleaner than....
I am better with my money than....

What if for one freaking moment we stopped.  What if for one moment we said....  No YELLED


I heard from my therapist, yes I went to therapy, that we are always good enough.  Then we decide we want to improve on something, but it has to be for you.  Because you see something in you that is good enough but might be able to be better.  No one should force you to change.  You shouldn't change for more money, love, or friendship.  You should not change for anything except to meet your own personal desire to grow but you DO NOT have to. 

Honestly, our soul craves growth so at some point we will always want to grow but that does not mean we are not good enough.  We are good enough for this very moment, right now.  Tomorrow we might want to work harder at it and that's okay. 

NEVER do it for others....


I HATE being compared to other Mediums, I am ME.  I AM GOOD ENOUGH.  I am not in competition with anyone else.  Everyone else is GOOD ENOUGH.

Work on you and remember at this moment, you are good enough.