Monday, February 20, 2012

I was thinking, not that it's a new event or anything....

I was thinking that thinking is what sometimes gets us in trouble.  I know that the more I think about something that is going on in my life that is not a desirable event the more I get stressed and feel anxious.  However, if I focus on the moment by moment things that are occuring I can find a very deep inner peace. 

The thing is though, unless you are a Monk in the mountains we do have to plan and strategize certain events in our lives.  I think it is impossible to just let life take you wherever it wants and live a very satisfying life, but maybe I am wrong.  Everytime I have tried to live in the go with the flow mentality alone I often end up feeling like a fish out of water, stressed, sad and feeling alone.  As if I am sitting in this tidal pool of life all by myself just waiting to be scooped up and put on some shelf to dry out and ever feel the warmth of the water again. 

What does it all mean? 

You have to go with the flow a bit, but it doesn't mean you have to allow yourself to be trapped in situations that are not healthy for you.  It's okay to plan a little, but be prepared to go with the flow if the world has a greater purpose for you.

Be blessed, excuse any spelling errors and/or misplacements of then, than, or there, their, and they're, it's just one of those days.  Oh heck, it's one of those life times.

So how does your Garden Grow?

Saturday, February 18, 2012

I am so happy to report that life is a Miracle

I was once told that I am a miracle.  I was told this once because my mother was told I had no heart beat before they gave her anesthesia and put her to sleep.  Honestly though, we are all miracles, and how we choose to live our lives is also important.  We can be a miracle or not, choose.... 

Friday, February 17, 2012

Who goes there?

Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell the smell of a bottle of rum. 


So anyway, what was the point, the point is this blog is a bit scattered perhaps and a bit lost.  For those who have joined me later and saw a lack of posts, I apologize.  In life there are a few things I don't like to admit to and one of them is being very scattered.  I am borderline ADD I believe, or I have it, or I have it and I am going to deny it until I drive everyone crazy with the I will and then don'ts.

So anyway, in the beginning I spoke of our spiritual selves, our growth as a Garden.  We have to tend to it and help it to grow.  We can not just watch and wait year after year and not expect weeds to take over where little bushes used to stand, or towering oaks to grow over our petunias.  Truth is we need to constantly work on what it is or WHO it is we want to be.

I often have to remind myself that if I do not like the placement of a weed, (the weed being a part of myself) I have the right to remove it.  That is fine, great, change ourselves to be better than what others think we can be.  Okay great, ready, set, just do it.  THIS POINT, is where the breaks come on, trying to make that change, accept that weed and remove it is hard.  Have you ever tried to pluck the little tiny weeds?  How many of us just take a big device and scrape the weeds out.  Yah, but they grow back sometimes, you don't get the roots that way and when we want to change, we need to get to the root of the problem, the issue, the personality trait.

Truth is my inability to follow through is quite a deep rooted issue that came from my childhood.  I haven't quite pinpointed what it is that has created this malfunction in my brain, the inability to remember things I plan but somewhere along the line I decided to take control by not doing anything.  My family was always in a state of chaos so my best laid plans were always disrupted anyway, so in a way I have created who I am and have accepted this, silly me.

So how do I change that aspect of me, slow and steady.  I am working on becoming more organized but part of me is in a constant state of contemplation, some might call that depression but I call it me time.  I just can't find focus at times, it feels lost and so I reflect, or bury myself in my stories. 

I will never claim to be good at this "human" stuff.  I pretty much stink at this entire process but I have down the love and acceptance of other people.  Sometimes I may make inappropriate jokes or be a bit under educated in the plights of others in this world, that does not represent an uncaring soul.  I pray every day for this world and those in my life that are friends.  I pray, and I will continue to pray for strength to not let the material and solid matter around me control my actions.  Though I get so easily distracted by.....................................................................................................................................................
Oh I am sorry where was I.

Well, I would say, lets get back to our Gardens.  I often tell people, spiritual growth isn't just about finding God, or a greater deity of any kind, it is often about finding out about you. 


Who goes there?

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

How to make change....

There are a few schools of thought in regards to how one should make change. 

Change is a necessity, we can not just sit around and be the same person all the time.  I often hear mothers saying, "I have lost my identity."  Truth is, it isn't lost, it has changed, maybe before the kids you went out all the time and hung out with friends, now you are at home day in and day out with your children, you and your husband barely speak truth is, you both have changed.  Even if you do not have kids this happens in marriages.  People are in a constant state of flux and truth is it is change.  We are the epitome of what the definition of change is.

Sometimes though we have to make HUGE choices that involve a big change.  It is hard and scary to think about, but the stagnation of living in the situation we are is more harmful than moving forward.  That doesn't make it easier knowing this because often times the best changes in our lives are the scariest ones to make.  It is darn right frightening to leap into the unknown.

I wrote about this on my facebook and a thought came to me, an image.
Our life is a journey, sometimes that journey is by land, by sea and by air.  We travel through different chapters in our lives.  When are lives become a struggle, it is by sea, in my mind, the waves bringing us up and down.  We sit out on the deck of that boat, feeling sick, aggravated, scared and we know we have to change what do we do?  How do we get out of there?  Truth is, you can choose to jump and tread water for a while, which will not bring you an immediate change but usually extra struggles.  Or you can wait until you see land, a plan and jump, swimming to shore, and sure you might have to travel the land a little, which might be unstable at times but you will get there, to the other side, to catch the next plane for smooth sailing, or the next boat for the next set of challenges.

We have to have negative to appreciate the positive.  Day by day we get through, avoid jumping off with out a plan whenever possible but sometimes, you need to take that leap of faith that your God will take you to where you need to be.

Truth is, for every decision you make, you can make another one to reverse your steps as need be.  You can always go swimming again. 

So my quote for you is:  Change is not about jumping off a ship out of fear, it is often about choosing at which port you want to exit and move forward. Never jump, it's harder to tread water then swim to dry land.

Spiritual growth is like a Garden, go back to page one, post one if you want more information on this Garden theory, but truth is, we need to always grow and we are always getting chances to do that.  We may not appreciate it at the time but in the end we become stronger. 

Be blessed, tend your garden and remember, love is a beautiful thing, especially when it comes from self.

Monday, February 13, 2012

How was your day, you decide....

I woke up today, got to hang with the greatest kids, watch them paint and learn.  Great day, then I brought my Mom to have a cataract removed, hung out with her until she went in, read a magazine and waited.  I have a ton of stress with housing issues, my parents being sick, my sister going through testing.  Today I was driving my mother home and I got pulled over for speeding.  So should I be angry?  It is a ticket, my fault, my job to pay.  Then I went to get the wheelchair out of my trunk just before bringing my Mom in the house, the trunk hits me in the head, I have a huge egg and blurry vision out of my left eye. 

So how was my day?

My mother got through surgery fine, I spent time with her and she is still alive.  I got to spend 6 hours with some of the greatest kids in the world.  My day was pretty good.  I am very blessed but sometimes we all get hit by the proverbial brick up side the head. 

Today it's about slowing down.  I would type more but the screen is getting blurry.  ha ha

So how was your day?

Here is a challenge for everyone, For one week try and write five good things that happened that day and do not repeat them.  So every day you shouldn't put, "I woke up, I kissed my family," try and think of something new everyday.  If you can't do five, think of at least one.  For one week, just try this.

So how was your day?