Who goes there?

Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell the smell of a bottle of rum. 

FYI I HATE rum.

So anyway, what was the point, the point is this blog is a bit scattered perhaps and a bit lost.  For those who have joined me later and saw a lack of posts, I apologize.  In life there are a few things I don't like to admit to and one of them is being very scattered.  I am borderline ADD I believe, or I have it, or I have it and I am going to deny it until I drive everyone crazy with the I will and then don'ts.

So anyway, in the beginning I spoke of our spiritual selves, our growth as a Garden.  We have to tend to it and help it to grow.  We can not just watch and wait year after year and not expect weeds to take over where little bushes used to stand, or towering oaks to grow over our petunias.  Truth is we need to constantly work on what it is or WHO it is we want to be.

I often have to remind myself that if I do not like the placement of a weed, (the weed being a part of myself) I have the right to remove it.  That is fine, great, change ourselves to be better than what others think we can be.  Okay great, ready, set, just do it.  THIS POINT, is where the breaks come on, trying to make that change, accept that weed and remove it is hard.  Have you ever tried to pluck the little tiny weeds?  How many of us just take a big device and scrape the weeds out.  Yah, but they grow back sometimes, you don't get the roots that way and when we want to change, we need to get to the root of the problem, the issue, the personality trait.

Truth is my inability to follow through is quite a deep rooted issue that came from my childhood.  I haven't quite pinpointed what it is that has created this malfunction in my brain, the inability to remember things I plan but somewhere along the line I decided to take control by not doing anything.  My family was always in a state of chaos so my best laid plans were always disrupted anyway, so in a way I have created who I am and have accepted this, silly me.

So how do I change that aspect of me, slow and steady.  I am working on becoming more organized but part of me is in a constant state of contemplation, some might call that depression but I call it me time.  I just can't find focus at times, it feels lost and so I reflect, or bury myself in my stories. 

I will never claim to be good at this "human" stuff.  I pretty much stink at this entire process but I have down the love and acceptance of other people.  Sometimes I may make inappropriate jokes or be a bit under educated in the plights of others in this world, that does not represent an uncaring soul.  I pray every day for this world and those in my life that are friends.  I pray, and I will continue to pray for strength to not let the material and solid matter around me control my actions.  Though I get so easily distracted by.....................................................................................................................................................
Oh I am sorry where was I.

Well, I would say, lets get back to our Gardens.  I often tell people, spiritual growth isn't just about finding God, or a greater deity of any kind, it is often about finding out about you. 

So....

Who goes there?