Monday, March 7, 2011


This world is runs around these expectations. We expect a significant other to be or do this, we expect a friend to do that, we expect ourselves to do x, y and z and have a, b and c already accomplished by a specific age. WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES.

I know the world needs to run to some degree and we need some level of order and deadlines. Yes in the business world this is fine, however, you know the old saying, "What happens at works, stays at work." Brilliant concept because we should not put deadline expectations on ourselves or others. We should not just EXPECT people to act a certain way, it boggles my mind on some days.

The other day I got, "we have to...." insert phrase. I looked at them and said, "Oh, I would love to, I do not have to, but would love to." I do not HAVE to go to school, I do not HAVE to finish my degree, I do not HAVE to loose weight, I do not HAVE to eat healthy, and I certainly do not HAVE to deal with people being rude hiney heads.

The point is I do not HAVE to do anything. I used to love to say, the only two things I HAD to do was be born and die. Even that, as my understanding of spiritualism comes into full range, I realize, I did not have to even do that.

We put expectations on ourselves that create "have tos" and if you are feeling overwhelmed by your have tos, don't put such high expectations on yourself. Oh and for goodness sake if nothing else in this world, forgive yourself if a have to doesn't get done and forgive those who can not meet your expectations every day.

I love flowers and surprise gifts, I love to be cooked for and other random little things. My husband doesn't do any of these things but you know what, the only reason I get upset about it, is because I put this expectation on my relationship, thus making my attitude towards him unhealthy. Though if he would do those things I would appreciate it.

In the end, I have no expectations of my friends other than they keep in touch and treat me kindly. If they are upset with me for something I said, I know I can be direct can sometimes be salt to a wound, I want to be told. I might be upset at first, human ego, but I have more respect for people who address me directly.

One should never be harmful to others and the only time we are is when we put expectations on them.

Though these following expectations we should all embrace:
1. To be treated with respect.
2. To be abuse free, both verbal, physical and sexual.
3. To be free to express ourselves with out threat of personal attack.
4. To be loved.
5. If we find someone to not be a quality person, we should be able to walk away.
6. We should always, ALWAYS LOVE OURSELVES and love those we create.

If you have any, HAVE TOS or EXPECTATIONS that are essential to a positive frame of mind, please share.

Blessings come in the most peculiar ways sometimes. People don't see them, have you seen one of yours today?

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