Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Pain is a moment


HEART ACHE         

 

My beautiful son is 14 experienced his first break up.  The emotional struggle the same as any adult going through a break up, divorce, etc.  Children feel pain just as strongly as we do.  Their relationships may not be as physically and emotionally mature as ours but the love is real.  I am tired of the concept of pain and hurt having expirations days and should vary in degrees based on how long you have known each other.  Surely the loss of a mother is harder than the loss of a partner.  This is not true, this is not true at all.

 

Love=Hope

 

Hope=Dreams

 

Dreams=Future

 

All are crushed in one moment.  In one small moment a good bye can have a devastatingly emotional impact on your life.

 

When someone comes to me grieving from any kind of loss the first thing I say is, “your grief is unique to you and we may or may not experience grief in the same way.”  There are tools and tricks to help move through grief but truth of the matter is grief can stick around for days, months, years, a century.  I worked with a client whose husband died 10 years ago and she still could not let it go.

Tricks to moving forward:  

Focus on positive things

Focus on friends

Focus on family you have.
 

No one persons’ heartache is harder or worse than any other persons.  We need to let others experience it how ever they need to.  Breathe and help them through it simply by being there.  Let them breathe into the pain.  I always say that, “breathe into the pain.”  We need to learn to just breathe and experience the pain, experience the moment for what it is.  Each moment is different and will be completely new.  So let it happen, let it be felt.  Then we learn how to navigate through the future pains.

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