No I am not talking 50 Shades of Grey I am talking about the life in GREY.
We has humans want there to be a right and a wrong, a happy and a sad, a beautiful and an ugly.
We want resolution to our minds ability to categorize things into groups. Celeste is fat, her friend is not, Celeste is a Medium, her friend is a dentist. Whatever it is we compartmentalize everything in our lives. We want things to have crisp clean lines because it makes our justifications easier.
It is part of the human condition. We all formulate agreements in our mind as to what is right and what is wrong. When I was a kid if we got spanked this was okay, but now someone said, "this is not okay, let's see how it changes the children who were spanked." They did all of these studied which were not as objective as we would like but now we say, "if we hit our children will hit so spanking is wrong." I will admit right here sometimes a swift smack to the rear is what they need. You know what all this granola parenting is doing, creating a ton of children who are not respectful, feel like they can do what they want when they want and have no respect for others. Why? NOT because Granola parenting is bad but because EVERY CHILD IS UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT. Every child will respond to different parenting styles differently. If you have a very sensitive, gentle child then reasoning with them is great. You have a self righteous child you may need to review how you work with them. They may need a firmer hand. I don't believe in child abuse, that is my belief. In some countries it is normal for the father to have sex with the daughter first, to teach them. Gross isn't it? The women don't end up all emotionally scarred because it is an accepted practice. Shades of grey.
How do we continue to live in a world where people want to see only the black and white of the world. This is right and this is wrong. If your best friend comes to you and says, "That is it I am divorcing my asshole of a husband he cheated on me." Your reaction is to comfort and you believe he is an asshole but do you really know what happened. Did you stop and ask him his perspective? Things are not just black and white, things are in the GREY and we have more than one side to every story and if we do not honor the other person and listen to both sides and then make a judgement we lose out on the truth.
I am totally guilty of this. Someone said, "this girl is a bitch on facebook look what she posted." I will admit that is awful. I will attack the person in my head at times. Are they truly awful though? Do I know the history between the two of them and do I know what got them to that point to say what they did? Do I know what got them to the point of doing what they do? I don't, I have to investigate, I have to see all of the colors in this situation before assuming I know anything about another person or the situation itself.
If people would stop judging others as good or bad I think the world would be a much more peaceful place.
So is a man who cheats good or bad?
Is a woman who cheats good or bad?
Is a man who killed a woman good or bad?
Is a woman who killed a man good or bad?
Is the person who is an abusive alcoholic good or bad?
Is the person who puts up with the abusive alcoholic good or bad?
What creates these people, situations? What has lead them to this path? If I say you are a jerk am I good or bad?
Sometimes we need to investigate more before we jump to conclusion about others or situations.
DO NOT ASSume.
People have opinions but that is okay but don't base your opinions on their opinions unless you have investigated the topic yourself. It can save you a lot of drama and grief later on. Be true to yourself and your beliefs, there is nothing wrong with them. Just don't place judgements on others unless you understand all the sides of the stories they share or the way they react. We all walk a different path and respect that, remain objective and you will find the world seems a lot less nasty.
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