Trying to live and trying to be alive, two different things

Lady 1: "Ugh I don't want to hear it, at least your doing something you love?"

Lady 2: "Something I love, are you kidding me. I want to help people but we are understaffed and overworked. I am over this."

Lady 1: "If I didn't have kids I would go back to working in a clothing store as a manager and take my ten thousand dollar pay cut."

$10,000/52 = $192.31 (approx.)

$192.31/40hrs = $4.81 extra an hour

Which will probably end up going back to taxes anyhow.

You are getting paid exactly an extra $4.81 an hour to miss out on time with your kids, be miserable and hate everything you do.

I think about the way society has created this money vortex that we all get sucked into.  College careers are the only way to get ahead, yet there is such an over saturation in most fields that many people can’t get jobs.  Then there is the problem that the government keeps having to give hand outs to people who have to work at grocery store or mall just to support their families because these companies can not shell out an extra $4.81 (according to this persons conversation) and instead they need to make a Multibillion dollar profit for the share holders.

Here is the thing, this isn’t a political rant, this is a reality check. 

STOP

I walk through the stores, streets and various parks daily.  I see people struggling in life.  I keep hearing, what is the point of all this?  What is the point of life?  I think to myself, we are all missing it.  We all get wrapped up in the I have to do this or I need to do that, we no longer see the point.  We are alive to experience life, love, anger, joy, sadness, depression, euphoria, and the list goes on.

What are we really doing?  Where do we find joy in this rat race?  What steps do I take to change this?

1.           Need less (new phones, new cars, new computers, new furniture, new clothes, new shoes)  Stop spending items on needless shit.  We don’t need to compete with everyone.

2.           Remember you are fine.  You are fine being you.  You do not HAVE to bake ten dozen cookies for your kids school fundraiser, buy some and send them in.  You don’t have to be in your friends wedding, who wants to buy a couple hundred dollar dress?  I mean in the end maybe you could wear it again, maybe when we bury you mmmkay. 

3.           Support people who matter.  Support local small business, friends who make shit, people who are trying to eek out a living by doing things they love.  Look into being a better person all around and get away from big box stores.

4.           FIND YOUR SOUL.  People always ask me what it means to have a souls purpose.  We are all geared towards having a purpose.  We all have a desire, maybe someone wants to just ski their entire lives, well become a ski instructor.  Maybe your passion is taking it easy, you don’t want a high stress job so you want to work as a cashier.  You love hair, make up, massage, drawing, doodling, etc.  There is a place for everyone.  If your soul purpose is to be a Doctor or Nurse, the hours won’t annoy you.  The job might but if the job annoys you move to another practice or location.  However, remember everywhere you work there are going to be people you do not connect with.

5.           Find time for you.  You have kids, a family, or maybe family you need to take care of.  I get it.  What I want you to do is find something, an extra curricular activity that you are PASSIONATE about and embrace that.  Do something with that because it makes you a better person in the long run because you are feeding your heart and soul.

6.           DREAM BIG.  Never stop dreaming. 

7.           Don’t count on others.  Just don’t do that, it’s not fair to them to give them a bunch of have to and should do this and need to do that scenarios.  You don’t like the stress of having to do things for others why should you give that to them. 

8.           LOVE!  Spread that shit around like it is candy.  Everyone needs tokens of love.  Now I am not telling you to hug everyone unless you want to get hit or kicked in the groin.  The point is to do little things to let them know they are loved. 

 

Here is where it gets fun, These are ideas on how to improve your life but there are hundreds of different ways based on the individual.  The point is we don’t want to be a live with out living.  We don’t want to exist with out having meaning to the existence.

I once told someone to just try and break free from their own person expectations which were so lofty no one could meet them, not even her.  To let go of her desire to be perfect because we are all imperfect creatures in an imperfect world.  We are not meant to be perfect, we are meant to be human.  Riddled with faults, insecurities and casualties to our heart and mind.  In the end if you want to live, not just be alive but really live, you need to find your inner self and get to the bottom of the greater purpose of you.  What is it that you can bring to this world that will make it a better experience for yourself and those around you that matter most. 

Spread the joy and love of who you are.

Don’t buy into peoples version of who you are supposed to be based on government standards or humanities teachings. 

Love that person inside.

I love you just the way you are.

Love me

Love what you can give to the world

Stop fighting an up hill battle for 481 pennies an hour

 

 

Past Due: STOP Antagonizing spirits

I am going to do something I don't normally do. I am going to let you know how frustrated I am with the "paranormal" field and those "curiosity" fun seekers.

When I do private readings I am working on a higher vibration.

When I walk through houses I am in multiple vibrations and it is tiring, especially the lower vibration.

I do NOT do this for fun, or to make a name for myself.  I am not doing this for some sort of gratification and or reward.  I do this because I care about people.  I could care less if I get a single EVP or shred of evidence.  I know what I see, who I talk to and is normally backed up by research done by myself, the client or teams I work with. 

There is a big difference between a Paranormal team going in to help a client realize they are not crazy and see that they actually have activity to those who put it together because they were just curious and start off in cemeteries, haunted hotels, etc.  A team that goes out to harass spirit and has no respect for the dead are causing trouble big trouble.  They are making hauntings worse and causing a huge increase in negative energy. 

People say what I do is cool but it is freaking taxing on my body and my spirit.  I get a call from someone who has had a team out and they found evidence but only saged the property and said things would be fine.  Really?  Doing sage is to get rid of negative energy and sometimes if not done right (which most don’t know how to do) you end up pissing something off that waits in a dark corner they missed to bother you more.  Maybe they push the energy and taunt it. 

So you think your place is haunted now what:

1.      Rule out the plausible, electrical, plumbing, buy a camera and film yourself at night if you are having frequents sleep terrors.  A lot of the “medical” or physical explanations can be much more easily solved.

2.      Research the History of the Property, the more you know the better you will be able to verify what the Mediums or Investigative teams are saying.  It is good to know and it helps to get rid of the spirit.  Sometimes you need a male Medium, other a medium who works with spirits long term on an energy clearing way and helping them to heal.  Either way it helps you to know or the people you are working with to know more.  If you house has been sold 20 times in 30 years, you might have a problem.

3.      If they are just knocking around or you see them out of the corner of your eye tell them to knock it off.  You would be surprised how effective that is.  Sometimes it may take a few times because just like any annoying person who was only going to be there a few days and are still there a month later, they like hanging with you maybe.

4.      Have a spiritual person or a person of your faith do a house blessing. 

5.      Have someone come sage.

6.      Call a Medium or a Paranormal Investigation Team.  (See rules for that below.)

7.      Ask the Medium questions; see what happened to them to lead them down this path.  Do they have fear?  You don’t want someone who has fear based readings because that means you will most likely hear you have demons.  (Insert eye roll)

What not to do:

1.      Yell!  If you have done the above steps and shit gets real and things start flying.  Feeding that anger, negativity makes it stronger. 

2.      Have a paranormal party with a bunch of friends who think its cool and always wanted to try to catch evidence of a ghost.  So you all get together drinking and trying to do EVPs, use Ouija Boards or other various dumb ideas.

3.      Have a friend convince you that her friends team could come and investigate and clear the place.

How to tell a good team? (If you want proof you are not crazy)

1.      A good team will NOT charge. If you choose to give them a donation towards gas or time that is fine but these people are helping because they WANT to.

2.      A good team does not have children on it.  Rule of thumb no one under 21 hormones are running and their energy is off which can be drained to amplify negative energy.

3.      They have investigated more then just cemeteries and haunted locations in the area that charge for researchers to go in.

4.      They have a group of contacts of a Priest, a Demonologist, Medium, Shaman, and the likes.  They are smart enough to know they can not do it alone.

5.      They do not at any time promise to get rid of all the activity immediately.  A good team will do the investigations, maybe bring in a Medium to see what they are up against and go from there.

6.      A great team will have a 100 question pre investigation questionnaire that will ask about history of mental illness, health issues, medications, drinking or drugs.  Be honest, if you smoke pot a lot that doesn’t mean they are not going to help you or turn you into the police.  They just need to know to rule things out.

7.      LAST BUT NOT LEAST:  INTERVIEW THEM JUST LIKE YOU WOULD A CONTRACTOR.  You have a bad gut feeling don’t use them.  You have a right to ask to talk to all the investigators and ask it they have insurance.  It is expensive to carry but worth it for your peace of mind.

8.      Oh this too, just thought of this, a Million dollars of cutting edge equipment doesn’t mean the people aren’t assholes bringing in negative energy or that they even know what they are doing.

What to avoid when searching for help:

1.      Anyone who promises to remove all spirits sight unseen for money.

2.      Anyone who promises to remove all spirits coming to your home

3.      Basically anyone who makes promises.  I have removed tons of spirits but there are some I won’t bother with or don’t want to try so I hand people over to others.  I tend to work with spirits who are trapped due to psychological conditions, I call it spiritual Therapy. 

4.      NO PSYCHICS, they only predict the future, you need someone that is a Medium or psychic medium but not just some Tarot reader or someone who says I will bring in a board, or pendulum. 

Have faith the problem can be resolved. Listen to the advice entirely, I do not take it lightly when I suggest to someone they need therapy. I am not trying to be a jerk, I am being honest.

There are a few groups in my area I recommend and if they tell you the house isn't haunted it probably isn't. It could be you that has an attachment or it is natural causes. A good team will come out more than once, sometimes three times over a 6 month period. Spirits don't work on command. Keep a log please. 

I am not going to bash anyone on this blog ever but I am going to build up teams I have found to be outstanding in the work they do and their follow through.  The team that I had the pleasure of working with called The Ghost Hunters of Connecticut has a line of people to call in cases of dire straights.  They also have a huge questionnaire and they do their research.  They are constantly trying to help clients even if it is to suggest therapy.  They are honest, they study the paranormal and research and one of the few teams I have met that sages properly.  Chris Baricko and I see eye to eye in regards to almost every aspect of client care, honesty and find it refreshing to work with someone who has done his research and knows his stuff.  He tries to run a tight ship, for me too tight I am no good at meeting dead lines all the time, ha ha.  Most Mediums I know are pretty flighty and lose track of time pretty quickly.  There is a point.

 

 

People:

Stop looking for ghosts because it is fun.  You are actually trapping souls here and some in their death state so that they are tormented.

When you look you are opening yourself up and what you get may not be Grandma Bell with the bonnet in her hair.  It most likely won’t be a poor lost child who you feel compassion for and it attaches to you.  Think before you play these games.

People are making things worse for clients so if you don’t have experience please do a ton of research and work with another team until you learn more.  I understand wanting to help people but make sure it doesn’t end up hurting them with your lack of expertise. 

Get to know the community.  If you are having experiences PLEASE don’t antagonize them or ask questions about their death, if it was painful why would you make them go through it again and again.

If you have a haunted hotel, bed and breakfast or you know someone with one of those establishments don’t make it a ghost hunting haunt to torment the dead.  Really get someone in there to clear it and let them live peacefully.  Please, stop creating more negativity in this world and feeding the bad guys with anger, outbursts and your energy because you are clueless and don’t know how to protect yourselves. 

 

Sincerely,

The concerned Medium

Something that was in my mind so I just wrote it out quick. Wanted to say hello

           I stood beneath the dried flowers,

Half the beauty they once were. 

They hung in the middle of the doorway,

Like some sort of story lore. 

I walked past cracked plaster

And ceilings caving in

I heard children laughing

Parents that would sing

I heard arguing

And angry words

But more than anything

I heard the whispered promise

Of flowers above the door

A story of love

Perhaps lost

Perhaps forgotten

I didn’t know for sure

Walking up the cracked stair case

Water dripping down the walls

Stories flaking from the ceiling

And outdated wall paper tarnished brown

From years of soot and dirt

I made my way to the attic

Quietly I snuck up the stairs

In the corner of the wall

A doll lay naked and bare

The roof let in spots of sun

Made my smile broaden

I knew this house would some day fall

The memories of here would soften

Dreams that were born here

May have died here too

But my mind wandered back to the flowers

Hanging in the door

For just a moment I realized

Every place has had love

Every place has seen anger

Everyone has been loved

Everyone has seen anger

We all need to remember

Every home has a story

Every story has a plot

Every plot has a beginning

Every beginning an end

In the middle is the heart

Of who we are

The stories we have

Embrace them

Love them

And respect all those

Who have walked the streets

The land

Respect all those

Who have come before you

Who will come after

Respect the houses that still stand

The ones that will fall

Those that will be built

For their will be flowers for them all

 

Celeste Lamarre-Vernale

February 17, 2014

Poetry

A poem of mine is being published in a magazine called Bellespirit
Check them out at Bellespirit.com

Also be on the look out for some new postings.

I have been insanely busy and it's time for reflection and information.

I have been informed they have a lot to share.

Be blessed and remember:

This time of year is so hard on so many people.  Suicide rates go up before and after the holidays.  I ask that you take that moment to reach out to someone you know is having a difficult time and offer them love.  Offer them a warm place to let go of that which burdens them.  Do not let any one be alone with out offering them a chance not to be alone.  We can not save the world but we can give love when someone is lacking.  We can give hope where there is none.  Sometimes people just need to have that moment where they feel they matter to someone.

Celeste

Medium Misconceptions

I see everything

With out my eyes

I touch everything

With just my mind

Question me if you will

But I will still fly 

Celeste Lamarre-Vernale

12/2/2013

 

Medium Misconceptions

 

I write this with trepidation, not wanting to ruin the idea of being a Medium.  Here is part of my story you will rarely hear me talk about. 

            My name is Celeste; I am a person who carries a controversial title.  This title was given to me by the human population, which is limited to the confines of the human mind.  I am called a Medium.  Through my childhood I struggled to understand the human in the most basic of ways.  Since I was small I had a knowing about people.  I knew things I shouldn’t know.  I am not talking the light and happy things only, I am talking deep inside.  I could see into the depth of others souls and into the depth of others egos.  I would touch into the darkest recesses of the ego, the place in which we hide the things which we do not like to talk about.  In that way I have suffered the greatest. By suffer I simply mean experienced others pain.      

            I will tell you how my story started based on what I know and pieces I have put together.  The amazing truth is the day I died was also the day I was born.  I was born dead in many ways, yet more alive than most around me.  Some say we pick our family situations, our life lessons before we get here.  I always joke that it’s a fill in the bubble sheet and I checked off what I didn’t want as a joke.  The only problem is I didn’t erase the marks well enough.  I am pretty sure I chose to be a princess somewhere high in the mountains and to have nothing but beautiful scenery around me and beautiful people to speak with.  To be with only the highest and divine, funny as I type that I can hear that if that is what I want I would have had to stay in Heaven.

            I grew up wise beyond my years.  In a family of dysfunction I felt abnormal.  I could feel the changes coming on in my life.  I knew when shit would hit the fan.  With out divulging the secrets of my siblings and parents I am going to leave it at that.  My childhood was filled with laughter and tears.  I became the counselor at an early age for my family.  I also spent a lot of time playing with the fairy folk in our blackberry brambles.  I sang to the angels and danced in the clouds in my head.  I rarely spent much time on the earth unless I was with my family or friends.  (I call my imagination my own little world, my own universe; it is part of my heaven.)

            Being born with what I refer to as a marked soul leaves us open to a lot of drama, chaos and strange happenings.  It also creates a level of frustration remembering that at one point I could fly, my body has always felt like a heavy burden to me.  One of the many reasons I seem to mistreat it.  Hear I open my soul in the most vulnerable way to you.

I hate to even share some of this with you.  I at no point want to seem like I am not grateful for my gifts, I am.  You have to understand the three ways I get treated on a daily basis.

1. Fraud:  I scam people out of money
2. Crazy:  I have obvious mental health problems and want to seem more important than others by speaking with the dead, angels, Jesus, Buddha, etc, etc, etc
3. Gifted:  I have a God given gift but even with the acknowledgement of the fact I am gifted comes misconceptions as to what I do. 

I spent time talking with a therapist as a child.  Telling her things I knew about her, what happened on a daily basis.  The voices, the smells, the constant nightmares that I am being chased by the dead, and last but not least the heaviness I carried knowing when someone would die or something bad was going to happen.  Not just a Medium, I am a psychic, I am a clairvoyant, and I am a physical medium which means I experience the pain of those who have passed and even those who are living.  When I was a preteen and teenager the therapist said to me, “well the voices are not threatening you or tell you to kill others, you are not schizophrenic.  You have no disorders that I can see other than dealing with anxiety.”

That is not the answer I wanted! 

I wanted the doctor to make it go away.  I wanted them to tell me that there was a cure.  I wanted them to understand how awful it was to see into people and see who they really were inside and to know how pure and beautiful their soul is and wanted their ego to be.  I wanted to literally die and return to God!  MY GOD!!  Clarity would be mine.  (Just a note, there is a part I have left out when I was 8 years old I had a nightmare about being attacked by a dog, that day I was, they stopped counting stitches at 2000.  My face, my arm and my ass were torn open, all I remember was being in the arms of love, being embraced by warmth during the experience.  I watched it happen from above and I begged to stay with them that day.  I remember it vividly and I had no pain during the attack and very little blood loss.) 

I became a very serious person, I didn’t laugh much and I found humor to be annoying.  Didn’t anyone else see what I saw?  Every day I saw the destruction of human spirit, the soul suffering amongst anger and hatred.  I watched as those around me didn’t understand in the real God, didn’t have faith in anything and I suffered for them.  I was young and foolish as many of the “gifted” children are growing up.   

I have waited for years for a scientific explanation as to what this is.  Science needs to tell me what this is, this gift, this vision, this view of the world and this knowing.  How can I tell you about your Grandmother and her favorite quilt if I know NOTHING about you?  I know nothing about my clients when they first come to me.  How do I know that their brother killed himself?  How do I know these moments of pain in your life?  Why am I gifted the ability to help you to heal?  Why is it my job to take the burden of guilt, doubt or sadness off of people’s shoulders?  WHY ME GOD DAMNIT WHY ME!!!! 

Again this is not to seem ungrateful at all.  I love that I help people heal, I love that I help others find peace inside an unmerciful mind.  Before I started actually following my gift and calling I thought this way, the why me in my head.  Now, I say why not you!   

I spent most of my life hiding from who I was.  Afraid to tell people, judgment, loss of friends, and no one really wanted to know me for me.  I can’t keep being who I am in fear and hiding.  Even as an adult I still hide.  It feels like a constant witch trial in my head.  I get so tired of the “prove yourself” crap or other bogus bullshit I have to deal with.  I am not here to prove myself I am here to help those who want me to. I believe that spirit will lead them to me, that God will have them call me.  I do not advertise to make the most money possible, I wait, and I wait for them to come to me. 

Knowing that death and life coexist moment by moment can at times be maddening.  I do carry a heaviness of knowing the final fate of humanity.  I do carry a heaviness knowing that I can not get every soul to live a loving, kind, judgment free life.  To know that people look at me like I am two shades of crazy, waiting for the call I am in the psych ward.  Perhaps if I just took meds this would all go away.   

If I just took the meds to make it all go away I guess I was be normal, but where is the gift in that?  I guess, no matter how hard the process was to get to where I am at now I am blessed.  I love what I do now and even though the heaviness still hangs around, spirit brought me back around to humor.  Everything happens for a reason, neuroscientists or neuropsychologist will tell you that our mind is constantly trying to make sense of chaos so it creates these relationships and patterns.  It needs structure, part of our primitive brain.  Our primitive brain is what allows Matrixing to fool the believers and gives argument to the non believers.  I just hope one day, one day that science will name this gift I carry and give me answers.  Answers to how this happened to me and why me?  Answers to how people can find their own inner peace, find peace with others.  Perhaps someday science will teach us all of this, or perhaps physics or quantum physics will make all the connections for us.  Until then, here I am, raw, honest and showing you what the misconception is. 

Trust….

Belief….

 

I am crazy

I am a fraud

I am a Medium

I am one with GOD

Name me what you wish

I know where I go to in the end

Do you?

Oh and no, I do not talk or work with Satan.  Satan would not exist if people did not believe in him.  There is nothing Evil about what I do, not if it brings healing.

Emails

So I have so much going on and trying to figure out a mass email program to use as Yahoo thinks I am spamming folks, ready set, advise!

I LOVE YOU

I have recently heard this saying more than once,
"I love you is so over used.  It holds no meaning anymore."

Really?  I would like to hear it more.
"Hi Dad I love you, Mom, I love you."
OR how about, "You are not behaving properly child but I love you."
I love you gosh darn it why should we not throw it around. 

I remember the lovely Pastor Allen Noddin at Newington's CT said something to me.  I remember this like they were words from God.  "If you face opposition, angry people, negative experiences send them love." 

So if we should send love to all and wish them well, how is it possible to over use it?  In the end shouldn't we be focused on love. 

As I always say, we do not need to like everyone but we should always send them love.  You don't have to call your brutal enemy and say, "I LOVE YOU MAN!"  You should though take a moment and say to the universe, "I recognize that this situation is brought into my life for my betterment and thank you, I send love to (insert name) and wish them well on their journey."  Of course you do not need to write this down and quote me but we should always look at this word we use.

IS love really used enough?  Can you say, "I wish you well and blessings?" enough?  Is it possible to really over use positive words too much?  I love my friends dearly, all of them, male and female.  I get told by people that I shouldn't tell the guys I love them.  Are you kidding me?  Why?  Love shouldn't imply sex right?

My best friend back in elementary school and all through to college, KJ and I would sleep in the same bed.  We would tell each other we love each other and kiss each other on the mouth.  Did that make it sexual?  NO, we were best friends, I would do anything for her and loved her deeply and still do.  We live close by but my schedule has been crazy and I miss her all the time, because I love her.

LOVE is not a word that is thrown around too much.  We as a collective group should use it more freely.  Okay so maybe we will get some strange looks when you tell the Coffee Barista that you love her but you know, spread it as much as you can before they lock you up.  ;-)