The feeling that things are going to turn around.....

I keep getting the feeling that things will turn around for my family. Maybe because Mercury moved it's rear, but I am not sure of course.

Life hasn't been easy on me and I am sure it isn't peaches for anyone. Life is a challenge, it is what it is. The thing that gets me is how many people just go with the flow and then complain that their life sucks.

I am out there actively seeking ways to improve my life. I want to encourage others to do that, be it finding a new church, meeting new friends, or spending times finding themselves.

Find out what matters the most and chase that goal and dream. The only way life is what you want it to be is if you go after what you want and put in the work.

For goodness sakes, for the last time I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!

I laugh, I laugh a lot because the world is full of blame. Everyone wants to blame someone for the shortcomings they are dealing with.

Today I blamed Easter for making me eat a piece of my hollow chocolate Easter bunny. I mean lets face it, if there was no Easter than I would have this temptation. Well if I am blaming Easter than I am essentially blaming Jesus for being resurrected right? So if I am going to blame Easter, which blames Jesus, I am essentially than blaming God right? It is GOD's fault that life is bad, he sent Jesus here, and then, wait I can blame Christianity of creating the holiday and I can blame Palmer for making the chocolate bunny.

I believe one of our BIGGEST lessons here on earth is to stop blaming and stop asking, "why is this happening to me." Nothing is happening TO YOU, it is happening with in the same time, space and confines of your existence. No body is out to get you, but when you have that mentality you attract people that are not as good.

People die every day and if you believe bad things are going to happen in 3's guess what, they will. That being said, just simply trying to not believe by saying you have stopped believing is not going to change that. You have to internally find peace with that is NOT how it has to be.

I did NOT need to eat that chocolate bunnies head off. I chose to do that and therefore I am to blame. I am the one that has control over my thoughts. I have control over my crazy schedule, I have full control over everything, who is in my life, how I accept the passing of friends and family. I can be in control. I don't know why this subject keeps coming up but it does.

Also, side note, I mentioned teaching meditation to my Bariatric team and they were excited. I think, I think with my entire heart, that I want to teach inspirational classes too. Finding inner peace, but how, how does one do that.

It is pretty simple, accept that you will never be perfect on this earth. We have to do the best we can and we are all works in progress. WE are all learning lesson by lesson and there is no one that is better than.

LOVE YOU
How is your spiritual garden growing?

The Road Less Traveled

It seems to me lately, the more I watch the world, everyone wants to go the same way at the same time. I don't know that I get this concept at all. I have been on both roads, and I prefer the one less traveled.



Our world becomes cookie cutter perfect. We are told we have to go to some box for our education, then go to another box for our education, and then another box for some career that pays us in rectangles so that we can buy another box to live in and a box on wheels to drive and maybe put a box with water in our back yard for our kids.



We travel these rectangular roads to the cities or even in our home towns, there is this idea of square and rectangular movement in our society. This makes me want to scream a little. I feel like I am the MIME. I am constantly trying to get out of the box and off of the road that has been traveled so frequently.

I am sooo not making a point right now, much of this sounds like the ramblings of a woman who hates boxes. Truth is, I hate conformity, we all do this. The real person inside of you probably gets sick of boxes too.

So here are some thoughts, I think about this stuff all the time.
If I ever have money to build a house it will not be square or rectangle, maybe round, or something.... I will have to think about it. I want all the rooms to have some sort of arch or curve because I believe that the curve makes more sense naturally and for energy flows sake.

That being said, you do not have to get married, have children and own a home to be happy. That is secondary to the process of living. One should never follow the road that everyone tells them is the right one, follow the one that is the right one for you. Heck if you want to go to college, get a job, buy a house, have your kids because that is what is comfortable for you, the do it.

For me though, square feels like prison and that is why I HATE sitting around at my house.

Celeste

Sad and Love

Today I was put in a position of thought, and this thought put me in a position of sadness. What does that mean, well, no matter how much I try to focus on the positive, sad sometimes sneaks in right under the surface. See I watch this dog for a friend and he has been pretty badly injured, she has had a stroke of bad luck with her job and doesn't have the money to help the dog. She is trying so hard to get people to take payments but no one will listen. It makes me very sad to think the dog was in pain. I give her credit for pushing forward and trying to get help for this dog. So this sad, this sad isn't MY sad per say. I do not own this dog, therefore my sad isn't pertaining to something I have brought into my life directly. Being a spiritual person as I am though I give LOVE to all and if something with in that realm of all is hurting, I feel sad. When people I love talk to me and they cry, I cry. Silly but true, I cry, I cry like a baby because they are crying, I love them therefore I feel sad with them. Love, if we give love freely than our heart and compassion is equally as HUGE. It runs freely and we can't help but feel sad for those that suffer, be it animal or human. With compassion and that feeling of love and sad we must learn not to let that sad take over our lives. We must feel in the moment and then move on, if it is not ours directly then we need to move forward. I have several friends going through a lot right now, I am going through a lot right now, I do NOT know many people who have it easy right now. Everyone seems to be dealing with changes and shifts in their lives, therefore we need to be more compassionate than ever. We need to not snap quickly or pass judgements on others lives or their choices. This is hard to do but true love and compassion means we learn to accept and embrace people fully, no matter how messed up they seem. So find a moment to be a compassionate, loving human being and know with that, sometimes you will feel others sadness. That is just the way the cookie crumbles. Just eat up those crumbs and move on. If we never know sadness we will not appreciate happiness. If we never know anger we would not appreciate peace. If we never know hatred we would not appreciate love. In the end, it's the ying and yang of life. My cat Fritz, (rest that kitty soul) would tell me, through his purring body that love is unconditional and if you are sad I will lay next to you until you feel happy. He would tell me that happiness is attainable for all if they feel loved. Happiness is attainable by all if they feel loved. So I love you and know that it is the truth. That I love all of humanity, I may not LIKE choices people make but I was taught to love your neighbor and do not pass judgement for that is not our place. If I don't like you, I don't have to hang with you but I will never stop sending love your way. Love you, love yourself, love your neighbor, and even when you no longer can stand someone, send love out to them, it will heal you and them. Celeste

What else.... What else....

In this life so many people complain, I seriously think it is geneticlly coded in some people. They can't find happy and everything that happens to them is someone elses fault. Let's talk about this in detail. My situation, I am financially broke, my husband is sort of looking for a job and I am trying everything I can to bring in income right. So the question goes on to be.... How far do I go? How far do I take this? How many people can I blame. 1. The economy 2. My husband 3. My father for having a stroke (thought it isn't fair) 4. The creditors 5. The government 6. My mother and father for not raising me to be more responsible with my money 7. The college for not engaging my interest more during my "younger" years.... Let's face it, I can go on and on and on. So here it is.... The economy is what it is, I can sit and bitch about it or do the best I can in it. In other words, go back to school, send my husband back to school, go to do anything and everything else I can think of to make extra money. Sell things that I do not need, don't BUY things I don't need. Let's face it, I am totally screwing up my own financial future by some of my decisions. Does one really need to go out to eat every time they visit friends? I make these choices because I want to go have tea with friends, I have no right to bitch about not having money the next day. Instead I can JUST get a pot of tea and leave it at that. $3.50 is different than $24.00. Then there is the tea cups I buy, now that I am going to turn it into a business, it makes sense, before, I was just buying them because I liked them. I can do whatever I want and I can do nothing about it. My husband is making me angry because he won't go back to school and pick a trade school or something. Do something, and you know I have a decision about that too. I can choose to stay with him and let him be lazy and NOT PUSH himself when he should. (I don't care that he doesn't like school he should get more of a degree so he can get a job.) or I can divorce him and look for someone else who has a job and wants to constantly strive to better themselves in some way. Sounds ridiculous right? If I love my husband obviously I am not going to leave him so then what is the point? I AM MAKING THE DECISION TO CHOOSE LOVE OVER FINANCES. People MAKE these decisions every day and they choose north from north west from south to south east to north east and sout west, I mean really we all have CHOICES. We make them every day. If you can say, get a job during the day that would pay better but you prefer working nights, that is your choice, how do you have the right to complain. I mean the bottom line is you are in control. If things are not happening the way you would like them to then change your choices. PUT YOURSELF first because not many people in this world live so selflessly that they will put you first. Truth is, we can't complain because we can always change it. Oh and don't say, "oh well so and so relies on me to help them with," "or my mother needs me during the evenings so I can't have work," that is putting the decision off of yourself and onto someone else. My good friend Jodie needs me to babysitt her kids, as she got a new job. I choose to do this and it works out for both of us. I am also looking for a better job and if my husband gets a job he will start working and I will watch the kids, if I get a job and start working, he will watch the kids. HIS CHOICE, MY CHOICE NOT Jodies choice. People always want to put it off on someone else. Stop, take control and KNOW that all of your choices are not going to please everyone but they are YOUR choices and if people walk out of your life because of that, then they never really supported you in the first place did they. If you are loved unconditionally by someone, they will support you, unless of course your choice involved some sort of pain being inflicted upon yourself. I won't support anyone who chooses to smoke after they are told they have lung cancer. I still l ove them and talk to them but I can not support their choice and I will be verbal about that. Though if they truly love me, they will respect that I have an opinion... Anyway, opoinions are like a stomach, everyone has one! (yes I used stomach instead of the choice word of as*h**e because it is nicer. I don't feel like swearing today.) Celeste

Never thought I would type this

We all need to take more responsibility for our life choices and admit our own faults. Do not blame others when things go bad. That is all.... The world isn't out to get you. I will finish this thought later, as my daughter woke up crying.... See, she was my choice, therefore her life will never be an inconvenience to me, a bump in my roads sure, but never a problem.

Candle Flame

The candle flames drifts Side to side with the wind Ebbing and flowing Not fighting against The candle flame knows To burn it's brightest It must not fight The forces around it That any moment The rain can come Stopping the flame FOREVER So it ebbs and flows Burning the wick down Bringing the brightest flame For as long as it can Never faltering In it's beauty It knows One must follow The natural rhythm of things To continue to burn As long as you can Brightly illuminating The world Be a flame Like a candle Burn brightly Bring light to others Follow the path Of least resistance And burn baby burn

Why do you write?

Someone once asked me when I was little why I wrote so much. I was always in the process of creating. In fact, I don't believe my mind knows of any other way to exist. Creating is the only thing that keeps me sane, it was my way of coping with life. I remember one year I asked for a type writer for Christmas, all I wanted to do was type my ideas. Since I was little I had stories in my head. Often times people would talk to me and I would be hunting the bad guys with Scooby Doo or creating a world fit for the princess with unicorns and gummy bear trees. Truth is that I never have really lived here. I suppose if you pull out the trusted DSM whatever number it is now, you could find some sort of diagnosis for my need to create. I need to get out the things that float around in my mind or they eat at me. I don't mean in a bad way but they will float around there for days, just taking up valuable time and space. I won't be able to focus unless I let them out on paper or sing a song about it. I often just start humming a melody and then add words to it. Now I am no great singer but it is a release. Writing is no different. I meditate and I get these thoughts and messages, I sit with them for a while and then I am compelled to share. "The power of God Compells you," he he he I mean really if I didn't write and create, create a visual to the abstract in my mind, I think I would have gone quite looney tunes by now. Seriously, I might be sitting at a mental hospital rocking back and forth, rubbing some stuffed kitties head going, "nice kitty, lets go play in the garden." ha ha With the universal conciousness, I am not the first person to think these things, I am not going to be the last, I am however a person who puts them down for all of you to see. My stories are your stories, be them fictional or factual. Most of what I post here is factual other than a few poems here and there. I just feel the need to share. I was told by several people there are books inside of me and I agree. Books and stories, pages of information to share. I know at times I don't even want to hear what I am writing but it needs to be said because one day, that message is going to be important. I think we all create in some way. Some sew like my beautiful friend Anne Marie, some take pictures like my husband, some paint like my beautiful friend Dori. I am surrounded by artists and creators. One of my friends creates through gardening and you know we all have to create. That is what we were put on this earth for, creating beautiful things. My words are what I offer as a gift to all of you and those of you I don't even know. So you can choose to either take them and hold them close or ignore them. In the end I have created and I feel the beauty of my abstract mind becomes clearer through the black, white and gray world of words. How is your garden growing today? Celeste

I am sick BUT....

I am sick today, very sick with some silly virus that is really cranky. Did you ever wonder why animals don't get all these stupid viruses. Why don't dogs get a cold four times a year or why don't they get the stomach virus. You never see a Deer in the wild with a runny nose and coughing? Is being on top of the proverbial food chain really that big of a benefit? I am questioning that more and more. I believe that animals don't get as sick as humans because they are smart. There bodies have stronger immune systems because they do not have the worry we do. Or should I say, they do not have self inflicted worry like humans do. They have stress, but not the level of stress we carry. They are simplistic and their minds are calm, with the exception of my dog Ghost who is, well, he is a little neurotic and gets worked up over little things. In the end I think that we can and should remember that we break down our immune systems a LOT and frequently because we do not eat properly, too many bad food choices not enough good food in our systems. We do not relax, most people sweat the small things and we make ourselves way too busy. So for today I suggest we be animals, eat healthy, sleep when we want to and let our immune systems strengthen up a little. I know I am going to. Celeste

**Warning Adult Content**

So I wanted to talk about the big O. Yes I am talking about it, the orgasm. Now I know for some this is taboo so you best turn your eyes away and not read any further, for those of you who can handle it, welcome. Some would say that the Orgasm has nothing to do with spirituality. Well, let me have you think: Spirituality for me is about being a good, positive person, who puts forward an effort of kindness and generosity. I try to live in the land of happy even when life is crappy and I try to avoid drama and focus on happy things. I also do my best to meditate to relieve my stress and anxiety because yes, I have them. So how does the big "O" and no I am not talking about Oprah, the big orgasm have anything to do with spirituality. Okay so I don't make this stuff up people, there was a study on how the "penetration" orgasm with a partner helps lower BP by like 14pts. Just masterbating and clitoral orgasms did not have the same results. So what does this have to do with everything you are asking. Orgasm, be it self created or with a partner, can help reduce the feeling of stress, headaches, high bp, and can bring a state of euphoria. The thing is that, it is like a mini vacation for the body. I remember thinking about this the other day and thought, I know men and women who are chronic masterbators, they enjoy the sensations they receive through the body and feel it helps them get through the day. They have a real sense of joy and relaxation as they start the day or end the day. How many times do we have friends who have not had a date, let alone sex in forever and the tend to be a bit mopey, notice how people notice when they have sex because they are glowing and shining a bit more. I don't know why the orgasm and sex has become so taboo a topic in this society. I know that sex with a partner that you love is more satisfying and leaves a longer sense of calm and peace to one after they have sex. But for those who do not have a partner, or maybe do and have to do the work themselves because of schedule or whatever it may be, I am not judging, it is important that they still experience this release. So if you don't have time to meditate, orgasm if you can, I mean because lets face it, your mind is either quiet, or fantasizing, your entire body and self are in the moment and when it is over, there is a time that you are not thinking about anything else. You don't believe me how powerful a thing an orgasm is, then try having sex and your partner getting there and you don't? You will feel cranky and stressed for hours, days, seriously, I have had that happen at times. Talk about the wicked witch of the west. I am not suggesting reckless sexual exploits by any means, so don't use this as your gateway blog to random sexual pleasures. However, take this time to think about it, having a bad day, go have sex or an orgasm of some sort. Remember, it's your body and it deserves all sorts of kindness. Relax, enjoy, and remember, it's more fun than meditation. Have you been growing your garden? Celeste

Coming back from Vacation

The oddest thing happened on vacation, it was for the most part a complete success, yet so many things went wrong.

1. On the way there, the decent of the plane, I had the most horrible pain in my head, I thought something popped in my brain, on the pain scale, between 8-10.

2. Ended up with the stomach virus on Saturday and Sunday.

3. Ended up with the kids Monday night with the stomach virus.

4. Tuesday Brandon had a migraine and couldn't eat.

5. Wednesday Morning I had such gas pains I woke up to an adrenaline rush, my entire body was shaking and shivering.

6. As I was getting ready to fly I found a flyer that said, "How to get to Heaven in Florida."

So you see that, 6 things that went wrong.

So equally so we should list 6 things that went right.

1. We went to the drive through safari.

2. Seeing the kids eyes light up when they fed a giraffe.

3. Seeing Alexa so happy to ride the elephant ride, similar to the dumbo ride at Disney. She was even more thrilled that her brother went on with her.

4. Taking long walks with Brandon looking for cool things at the beach.

5. Watching Alexanderia with her swimmies on in the pool.

6. Racing Brandon in the pool.

7. Going out with my husband one night for drinks, alone.

8. Spending time with my MIL and talking about our lives.

Wait, just wait for it....

That's it....

I mean we have to have balance. Sometimes in our life everything runs so smoothly, not a bump in the road. Yet when those bumps hit we focus on the bumps, because they sometimes leave marks. In the end though, most bumps only leave marks if you let them.

I walked the beach alone after a particularly bad storm looking for shells. I spoke with my FIL (father in law) who is in spirit and I said to him, "If you are listening, which I am sure you are, help me find some cool things to bring home to Brandon (who was sick) and some sea glass." I did find some cool things and I cried. I cried as I walked along the beach because I said, "If my FIL was here he would tell us every shell we picked up what it was or he would spend all year looking for sea glass."

The point is we need to suffer, we need to cry, we need to feel pain, we need to feel hopelessness, we need to feel loss, we need to feel all that negative smegma in our lives so that we can feel relief, happiness, joy, hopefulness and abundance.

Some of us want to assume everything is a sign. That God is trying to tell us something from every bad moment to every good moment but really, they are just moments. If "GOD" whomever that may be for you, was trying to communicate anything it is that, every moment is unique and take that moment for what it is. If you didn't like it and can prevent a moment like that from happening again then do that. Take steps to make your life better if you can.

We need a balance, we need pain or we would never know joy. We need illness or we would never appreciate when our body is functioning right. We need to feel loss to know when we are gaining something. We don't keep those we love forever because we need to learn to appreciate them.

Life is beautiful, even beautiful has flaws.

Tend to your garden.

Celeste