Saturday, June 25, 2011

Today, tomorrow and maybe the next day, if we are lucky

I was and have been facing death a lot lately. Not me personally, thankfully but family and friends. My FIL died of Cancer about a year ago now and my Uncle followed, dying from cancer, just a month or so later. I struggled a great deal, having to take on cleaning up my Uncles apartment was awful, moldy food and piles of wet pull ups everywhere. I wasn't angry at him, he was sick, but it was hard. Then to deal with my FIL, waiting for my MIL to return from Florida with his ashes was terribly difficult. I struggled with it, I really did. I didn't know the man that great, but I have known him for 7 years at that point and I adored him. I know he had his faults but there was something pure about him.

Now as I face my mothers terminal diagnosis of ALS I can't help but wonder when it will stop. Death, though not final, or an ending by any means, is an emotional struggle for those of us on earth. When we become attached to someones soul inside of a body a vessel, it becomes difficult to separate the body for the soul from the body. The hugs they give us are the closest connect we can often get to the soul. Everyone is on a different spiritual path and though I have connected soul to soul with people, never touching, it is rare. It is a rare opportunity to travel outside of your vessel, your body and meet that close energetically.

So I am facing the death of my mother again and as a spiritualist I am supposed to find peace in the fact she is going somewhere to grow. That it is her turn to exit and move on. I want her to find that peace but rather selfishly I would like to keep her here forever and ever. I just know that I will miss that physical vessel, the body has become the representation of who the soul is for us. It is hard to let go of the physical when we are grounded so firmly in it on this earth.

We all face the loss of loved ones and the one peace of advice I want to give is to FEEL. We are put on this earth to EXPERIENCE what life is like in these bodies. If you are sad than be sad, do not ask yourself why and try to justify away the emotions that come with this life. We are all allowed to feel and it is important to experience it to the best of our ability.

Death sucks, though not an end, it is an emotional journey we must experience.

Monday, June 13, 2011

I have a friend who follows my blog

I have a friend that reads my blog. She is not the same religion as I am and she does not have the same beliefs as I do. She reads for the inspirational aspects of what I post. Beyond the conversations with spirits and belief system there is something simple in these posts and she said, "they are inspirational."

She gets it, she gets what I am doing here. The point is NOT to convert people into believing that spirits are standing next to them. It is NOT to make people change their religious beliefs at all.

We are all very much individuals and we all follow our own paths. I don't demand that people believe as I do to read my blog. What I hope for is that people learn something, that they take messages from what I say, that there are things that touch you, somewhere in your existence.

Be brave, be proud and be who you are. If nothing else I want my blogs to be about love. If this is the first blog of mine you are reading, check out some of my older ones.

Blessings to all,
Love to all

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Something special

I remember growing up I always thought I wasn't very special. Yet I was constantly told how special I was, how different. To me that different wasn't good. I wanted to be special because I was a talented pianist, singer, or something more tangible.

Being special in a soulful kind of way, to a child, can be unrewarding. I wanted to just become something that was tangible to people. I wanted to be something more tangible to people. When I started reading Tarot I was told I was gifted, but I didn't want to be gifted, I wanted to be special. I suppose it is the same thing as not wanting to be cute, wanting to be beautiful.

There is a point to all of this, I swear. We all look for some sort of tangible specialness about ourselves. I heard a child the other day say, "I am not special, I can't do anything special." I stopped the child at my son's school and said, "of course you are special, you may not be good at something but you have a big heart and there are people that love you and THAT makes you special." He nodded and went off and I thought, if someone said that to me, I might not have taken much stock in it either.

Now that I am older and starting to hear voices that is not currently linked to a mental illness, thankfully, I hear people say, "you are so special, what a gift." What a gift, you know it is but it takes hard work, dedication, meditation and a lot of work on myself to do this. I have to fight the ego constantly to allow myself be a person of substance and value for others.

So today I was thinking, that is right, I am special. I am special because I recognize that life is a mish mosh of things that require us to change and grow. What makes me special is the ability to realize that I have to grow all the time and I have to take blame for the failures in my life. The things that make me most special are not the things that people see, but the way I am loved, the way I give love, and the way I feel inside.

Let me also clarify something, the love that I have been given is from myself. What makes me special is I LOVE myself, and that allows me to love others. How did I get to love myself so very much, because I didn't create ridiculous expectations for myself, I learned to accept myself for all of me, faults, bonuses and silliness. I learned to look at myself in the mirror every day for 35 days and say, "you are a beautiful, smart, funny individual who deserves love from yourself."

You are special, love yourself.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Standing on the edge: The big changes in life

I was standing on the edge today
The edge of something new
As scary as it was
I knew what to do
I had to put my foot out
A leap of faith inside
I had to take that first step
Even if I don't know why
So standing on the edge,
All of us have been
Can be a scary place
Unless we believe
In ourselves....
Copyright 06/08/2011 SOTVOT Celeste

There are days we are all standing at a precipice....
Everyone knows how scary the cliffs can be....
But there is something we don't often think about....

I am taking you for a hike, up a winding trail, through a wooded area, trees your canopy against the sun. As you get to a slightly more difficult part of the climb you stop and take a break. You think about how sore your muscles are and you wonder if you should turn around but you don't, you keep going. You keep going to get to the top. You worked hard to get to where you are going. WHY? FOR THE VIEW....

People often view change, that point where they have to make a change and do something different as scary. Yet what they forget about the precipice or the change, is that there are now endless possibilities. That life is offering to them many different paths back to comfort and safety. When we reach the edge we need to decide what it is we want out of our life and view our surroundings, deciding which way we need to go to reach our goals.

Big changes are scary, but not having faith and not realizing the gifts you can acquire is just sad and lonely.



Thursday, June 2, 2011

DANGER! DANGER! Do NOT misplace yourself.

I have found many times in life I have conformed to some degree. I do not like to admit this but I have, I think we all do once in a while.

The most depressed I have ever been is when I am not with myself. This simply being stated is that when you are not true to who you are, you can not thrive. I know people at 35-45 and even 55 searching for who they are. They have misplaced their identity in the process of becoming someone for someone else.

I think it is important that one continues to look inside, see what means the most to them. What is it that makes them laugh, cry, get angry or even get sad. What is your passion, if you have none, explore the world, find out who you are.

I had a friend one day tell me that she didn't know who she was. She didn't know what she liked to do. She was afraid to find herself. "What if I do not like who I really am?" Is that possible? So many people are afraid of who they are. They are afraid of the core of themselves. Truth is if we look for who we are in a spiritual sense and follow the golden rule, there is not anything that we should be opposed to. I think that the inside of all of us is a soul that just wants to be loved and to love.

Some would say that there are those who are dark, and morbid. Some would say these people are beyond love and do not want to love. However, in some twisted way that is exactly what they are seeking going after the opposite emotion of hate and anger. They have been tainted or were born with the inability to feel love and if one can not feel love they must seek another extreme emotions and if they can feel that, well they finally FEEL SOMETHING.

We need to remember that the only way we will not like ourselves is if we judge ourselves constantly. We need to love who we are on the outside and we need to love who we are becoming on the inside. We need to be true to what we love and our passions. My mother spent her entire life being something for someone else that she is so lost she can not find peace in herself. She hates herself, but the self she hates isn't even her true spiritual self.

Often times people ask me if I am striving for perfection. (Insert belly laugh here) Perfection does not exist here but I try to be a good person. I try to live by the golden rule. I try to be honest and true to who I am. I do not sugar coat myself so that people see something I am not. If I am having a bad day I am honest, I share. I do not cover up my hardships but I try not to dwell on them. I state them and move on. If I try to post one positive thing a day, it isn't because I am trying to make it look like I have a perfect life but rather remind myself to focus on the positive and not the negative. I try to be "authentic" as my dear friend Jenn would say.

Life is too short to be someone you are not comfortable with.

Consider this, do you love who you are? If not, what is it you want to change? Can you honestly say that you are happy enough with yourself that you can find inner peace and focus when confronting problems in your life? Do you take things personally? Do you blame everyone else?

Are you who you believe you are meant to be or do you feel trapped?

Tend to your Garden and remember, you can be that beautiful butterfly, you can fly out of the chrysalis and help pollinate your spiritual garden.

Spread your wings and fly.