I think the most honest thing we can say to someone is, "I can't imagine."
I have friends who have had stillborn children and I can not imagine what one goes through.
I have friends who have children who have chronic illness, I can not imagine what one goes through.
I have friends who have children who are suicidal, I can not imagine what the parents go through, I can imagine what the siblings go through as I have been there. But I don't KNOW.
Truth is none of us KNOW exactly how the other person feels in the situation, even IF we have been through the same exact thing. Truth is, we are all made with different emotional triggers, different levels of pain we can handle, different levels of tolerance and let's face it, no one has a freaking book out that tells us how to get over loss or tragedy.
I have someone who told me, the other day, as I was talking about my life and the crap going on, "Well at least it isn't as bad as mine." WHAT?!?!?!? In my perspective it is just as bad as yours.
My father is disabled, my mother has an incurable disease that will take her life much too young, our finances are struggling, and I have a sister who may have her own nueromuscular disease happening to her at the tender age of 20, plus 20, plus some. My life by no means is a cake walk.
People often mistakenly thing, "if you are so spiritual you should be able to handle all of this," really? Handle all of this? We all have limits and everyone of us needs to cry. It's part of the human experience, my spiritual self knows all of this is just an illusion, part of a story I have wanted to live for special lessons. I am my own personal lesson writer and boy have I written a doozy.
Every person who suffers has the right to suffer. Every person who cries has the right to cry and hold on to sadness as long as they want. Never down play another persons emotional self and well being. Just because you think that they should be okay when there third pet goldfish dies doesn't mean they should be.
My son and daughter are young and are what I call the bounce back kids. When my foster dog Magic went to his new home, my son and I held each other and cried for a bit. He then went on with his day and I cried for two more days, oh wait still sometimes crying. When is Grandfather (my husbands dad) died, he cried, but he will only cry with me. It is hard to really determine how someone else feels.
That brings me to the lesson, this long winded post that rambles and moves just like a little river. Truth is, we just never KNOW, we just never understand and we need to apply that not only to when people are going through a hard time, but with people all the time. Unless you are in a persons head you do not know what they are thinking, you do not know what they are feeling and you certainly can not possibly completely understand their lives.
Yes we have parallels, but that is where it ends, the event is a parallel but what comes from it, thoughts, feelings, and internal dialogue is mainly unique. Unique in how it happens and unique in how long it happens and unique in how happy or angry it is and just unique.
Be blessed and remember, all we really need in this life, no matter what we are going through is a little love.
Love, not judge and be kind.
This is a place where I write lessons I am learning or lessons I feel I need to share. I free write everything which means there is little to no editing. I go with the moment and how I feel. I let the words flow from my fingers to the keyboard and that allows for grammatical errors. I am hoping to grow this page so if you find it helpful please share. The more people we reach the greater humanity will benefit.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Friday, October 28, 2011
Yah it's been a while
Time is perceived, to you it has been a long time, to me just minutes have passed since I have last written on my blog. Truth is I have been wondering what it is I should write so I decided to take a Halloween approach.
There is nothing more common then for me to get calls this time of year about weird noises, sensations, voices or the feeling of being watched. People need to understand the veil between the living and dead is thinnest and the thinnest of all nights is Halloween Evening. All the spooktacular events bring us around to the fact that anyone can commune with the dead this time of year. Mostly it will come in the form of dreams for people.
I stood in front of a lady at a grocery store and in my head I heard, "she hurts so much, she just can't let go. She took good care of me for years." I wanted to say something, I wanted to say, "M'am, your husband thanks you so much for all you have done for him and he hates to see you hurt. He wants you to know he is waiting for you but you have a few more things to do before you join him." Her face, her guard around her, told me that would be the wrong thing to do.
There was a show on some channel, and I don't remember which one, but it was about this "psychic medium" who went around and would just blurt things out to people and butt into her kids business. She had to know everything and to me that is a power thing. I keep shut down as often as possible but if a death was recent and around this time it is usually much stronger, this is why I am doing a Gallery reading on Sunday at the Sunflower Bungalow in Southington.
Those who have died come clearly to us, they want to help us in anyway they can and our guides, believe it or not, call them angels, mentors, whatever, they want what is best for us. This time of year not only the highest and the best come through but the crud shows up too. So you tend to see a lot of depression start popping up.
My biggest suggestion this time of year is to meditate and if you start feeling down ask yourself is it you or just the energy around you. Be patient, love yourself and most of all listen, or call someone who can listen for you. Oh and remember, people like me, we don't want to know all your business so we are not walking around tapping into your mind. Trust me, there is some scary stuff going on in some of those minds, and those were just previous clients. ;-)
Be blessed, be safe and have fun.
After I saved this I thought of something, something that is sooo important. We are no different than those who have died and those who have died are no different than the living. The only difference, the only noticable difference is we still animate a body.
There is nothing more common then for me to get calls this time of year about weird noises, sensations, voices or the feeling of being watched. People need to understand the veil between the living and dead is thinnest and the thinnest of all nights is Halloween Evening. All the spooktacular events bring us around to the fact that anyone can commune with the dead this time of year. Mostly it will come in the form of dreams for people.
I stood in front of a lady at a grocery store and in my head I heard, "she hurts so much, she just can't let go. She took good care of me for years." I wanted to say something, I wanted to say, "M'am, your husband thanks you so much for all you have done for him and he hates to see you hurt. He wants you to know he is waiting for you but you have a few more things to do before you join him." Her face, her guard around her, told me that would be the wrong thing to do.
There was a show on some channel, and I don't remember which one, but it was about this "psychic medium" who went around and would just blurt things out to people and butt into her kids business. She had to know everything and to me that is a power thing. I keep shut down as often as possible but if a death was recent and around this time it is usually much stronger, this is why I am doing a Gallery reading on Sunday at the Sunflower Bungalow in Southington.
Those who have died come clearly to us, they want to help us in anyway they can and our guides, believe it or not, call them angels, mentors, whatever, they want what is best for us. This time of year not only the highest and the best come through but the crud shows up too. So you tend to see a lot of depression start popping up.
My biggest suggestion this time of year is to meditate and if you start feeling down ask yourself is it you or just the energy around you. Be patient, love yourself and most of all listen, or call someone who can listen for you. Oh and remember, people like me, we don't want to know all your business so we are not walking around tapping into your mind. Trust me, there is some scary stuff going on in some of those minds, and those were just previous clients. ;-)
Be blessed, be safe and have fun.
After I saved this I thought of something, something that is sooo important. We are no different than those who have died and those who have died are no different than the living. The only difference, the only noticable difference is we still animate a body.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Ramblings
I often like to go outside and look at the stars. Sometimes, I like to squint my eyes and imagine I am part of the stars. I mean I suppose in a way we are, technically but we aren't are we?
Someone once said, "wish I could live forever." For what? Even the brightest stars will someday loose it's light. That star will be forgotten, even planets can become removed and with in a few generations there is no mention of that planet again. Things change and that is the only constant we have.
We try to make sense of a world that is senseless. We are trying to put definitions to everything, "I am sitting in a chair, I ate a cookie, I drank milk." We try to define people, "she is crazy, she is pretty, she is smart, he is cute." These definitions are a way to make sense of things. We define our life with the idea of birth and death. We are born therefore we live. This is not true, I know a ton of people who were born but don't truly live, don't you?
Life is about more than definitions and so is death. Everyone wants to define death, everyone wants to make sense of tragedy, everyone wants to find a way to fix things to their benefit. We all do, we try to manipulate this thing called life into manageable, function able chapters. Chapters like, "first heart break, loss of first pet, dealing with teenagers, divorce, marriage, birth of children, living with out children." I mean seriously millions of chapters we write, but the only way to write them is to live them. We have to live each moment with no excuses and no exceptions. We have to view the world in a moment by moment basis and not try to give such large definitions, not try to make sense of a little moment on a big planet. Maybe it isn't such a big deal after all.
I am not a big deal, I try to pretend that I matter in the dark of the night. That somehow, when I look up at those stars I am part of the greater cosmos. In the grand scheme the importance of me is minimal. HOWEVER, the importance of me in the spiritual world, in my life, the lives of those around me is huge. In order to stay grounded, to stay focused, I need not worry about the definitions and I need to instead focus on the moments. Each moment brings something beautiful, the ability to feel. I used to wonder if stars had feelings, when they are ready to burn out do they think, "I wanted to give more light." Do they feel the pain of burning up.
I mean we assume plants and rocks have no feelings but is it true. What about rocks, trees, vegetables? When I pick a tomato does it appreciate it's purpose or cry out in pain as it is ripped from it's mother plant? I know it sounds weird but on a spiritual level all things matter and are one. Perhaps I often take it to the extreme. I always have since I was a kid.
When I was little I would lay in bed and try to imagine what the smallest of small things in this world would be. Could something be smaller than an atom? A nucleus? Can something be smaller than a germ? How small do things get. I would imagine things folding in on themselves getting smaller and smaller until they disappeared but then I realized, nothing really disappears, it just keeps getting smaller. So I imagined that there is a negative space where the smallest of smalls has folded in on itself a few doze times and is now in a new place. That is how I imagine death, folding in on myself until I am in a new space, that is reverse, negative, opposite of here now. Not tangible, earthly, defined by words and features but free of.....
Just some thoughts, would love your thoughts in response.
Someone once said, "wish I could live forever." For what? Even the brightest stars will someday loose it's light. That star will be forgotten, even planets can become removed and with in a few generations there is no mention of that planet again. Things change and that is the only constant we have.
We try to make sense of a world that is senseless. We are trying to put definitions to everything, "I am sitting in a chair, I ate a cookie, I drank milk." We try to define people, "she is crazy, she is pretty, she is smart, he is cute." These definitions are a way to make sense of things. We define our life with the idea of birth and death. We are born therefore we live. This is not true, I know a ton of people who were born but don't truly live, don't you?
Life is about more than definitions and so is death. Everyone wants to define death, everyone wants to make sense of tragedy, everyone wants to find a way to fix things to their benefit. We all do, we try to manipulate this thing called life into manageable, function able chapters. Chapters like, "first heart break, loss of first pet, dealing with teenagers, divorce, marriage, birth of children, living with out children." I mean seriously millions of chapters we write, but the only way to write them is to live them. We have to live each moment with no excuses and no exceptions. We have to view the world in a moment by moment basis and not try to give such large definitions, not try to make sense of a little moment on a big planet. Maybe it isn't such a big deal after all.
I am not a big deal, I try to pretend that I matter in the dark of the night. That somehow, when I look up at those stars I am part of the greater cosmos. In the grand scheme the importance of me is minimal. HOWEVER, the importance of me in the spiritual world, in my life, the lives of those around me is huge. In order to stay grounded, to stay focused, I need not worry about the definitions and I need to instead focus on the moments. Each moment brings something beautiful, the ability to feel. I used to wonder if stars had feelings, when they are ready to burn out do they think, "I wanted to give more light." Do they feel the pain of burning up.
I mean we assume plants and rocks have no feelings but is it true. What about rocks, trees, vegetables? When I pick a tomato does it appreciate it's purpose or cry out in pain as it is ripped from it's mother plant? I know it sounds weird but on a spiritual level all things matter and are one. Perhaps I often take it to the extreme. I always have since I was a kid.
When I was little I would lay in bed and try to imagine what the smallest of small things in this world would be. Could something be smaller than an atom? A nucleus? Can something be smaller than a germ? How small do things get. I would imagine things folding in on themselves getting smaller and smaller until they disappeared but then I realized, nothing really disappears, it just keeps getting smaller. So I imagined that there is a negative space where the smallest of smalls has folded in on itself a few doze times and is now in a new place. That is how I imagine death, folding in on myself until I am in a new space, that is reverse, negative, opposite of here now. Not tangible, earthly, defined by words and features but free of.....
Just some thoughts, would love your thoughts in response.
Life at fast forward
I have recently been thrown into a tornado of activity. I am getting an option to run a daycare, move into a bigger house and try to complete my paperwork. It is awesome, scary and fast paced.
The last month or so has gone by so fast. But during the whirlwind of my prayers being answered I have seen constant reminders to be thankful.
1. Hurricane.... We kept our power.
2. Friends son who is only three has a brain tumor.
3. My lady who teaches CPR her daughter was hit by a car and was in critical condition.
4. A friends husband is ill and they are having a hard time financially.
Thing is, when life is going smoothly we are all waiting for the other shoe to drop. The dramatic event to take away the very joy we are now experiencing. Then we feel guilty or sad when we hear the bad things that are happening to others but we shouldn't.
If anything I am urging people to focus on one thing in your life when it is going well. We need to focus on the fact that it is smooth sailing. Things are well and we have beautiful things in our lives. Yes we should pray and feel emotions towards others tragedies but we do not have to feel guilty. One day we will be faced with tragic events or turbulent moments, we have all been there. We need to appreciate the positive moments and support and give love to those who are struggling. Pray and give whatever you can, emotional or financial, prayers, guidance, whatever. Give something of yourself, whatever you can.
Be generous every day of your life with love, and whatever else you can give of yourself, financial, spiritual, emotional, etc. Be generous.
The last month or so has gone by so fast. But during the whirlwind of my prayers being answered I have seen constant reminders to be thankful.
1. Hurricane.... We kept our power.
2. Friends son who is only three has a brain tumor.
3. My lady who teaches CPR her daughter was hit by a car and was in critical condition.
4. A friends husband is ill and they are having a hard time financially.
Thing is, when life is going smoothly we are all waiting for the other shoe to drop. The dramatic event to take away the very joy we are now experiencing. Then we feel guilty or sad when we hear the bad things that are happening to others but we shouldn't.
If anything I am urging people to focus on one thing in your life when it is going well. We need to focus on the fact that it is smooth sailing. Things are well and we have beautiful things in our lives. Yes we should pray and feel emotions towards others tragedies but we do not have to feel guilty. One day we will be faced with tragic events or turbulent moments, we have all been there. We need to appreciate the positive moments and support and give love to those who are struggling. Pray and give whatever you can, emotional or financial, prayers, guidance, whatever. Give something of yourself, whatever you can.
Be generous every day of your life with love, and whatever else you can give of yourself, financial, spiritual, emotional, etc. Be generous.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Hypocrite the definition and my thoughts on this....
I thank a friend for this conversation. I also thank another friend who posted that this world would be better off with out hypocrites. Hmmmm, so it got me thinking....
This comes from www.merriam-webster.com
This comes from www.merriam-webster.com
: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings
I was thinking one time, in Christianity we are taught not to judge, after all the only one who is supposed to judge is God himself. Jesus if you believe you go through Jesus to get to the gates of heaven. Many other religions teach not to judge.... So when we call someone a hypocrite we are seeing them purely for their words and actions.
I figure if we break down this idea of being a hypocrite, we really are viewing something entirely different.
We are viewing change in someone. If I say, "I would never own a cat," and then I get a kitten, this is considered being a hypocrite. Especially, if prior to that I stated all the reasons I hated cats. Or if I state, "you should always live life judgement free," and then I place judgements or values on your or anything else in my life, some would call me a hypocrite, but am I really? Seriously, are you going to say that I am a hypocrite if I do one thing and say another.
So it comes down to this, defining things. We need to define what is going on around us. Really, what a hypocrite is saying is, "you shouldn't drink," as they down a shot of whisky, in their head they are saying, "I shouldn't drink." I think the very act of being a hypocrite, which we all are at times, none of us are immune to this; is really growth and change or a desire for growth or change. We all know what is right but when we do something wrong, we make excuses and blame other people, blame the dog, the cat, the kids, the dust in the house, whatever it is. I personally like to blame cows and plants for ice cream with chocolate hot fudge, and then I can blame the waiter for allowing me to order it and bringing it to me. ha ha
Seriously though, before you judge someone a hypocrite we need to stop and think why it may appear that way. If someone says to me, "you should do x, y, z," I always say, "yes I should and so should you." It isn't easy, it just isn't and when I counsel people, if I say something like, "everyone should meditate daily and ground themselves, it isn't easy and I admit at times I fail at this." This is a lesson in humility, it is my way of not being a hypocrite.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
You ready for this....
I wanted to add to my previous post about letting things go.
I once walked into a ladies home that I was to take care of. She had so much stuff everywhere. She said, "my kids told me I need to get rid of this stuff because they don't want to have to throw it away." Later that year I met her daughter, who collected dog things, stuffies, porcelain figures, etc.... I looked at her and said, "have you started getting rid of all your collectibles?"
"No why would I do that?" her daughter asked.
"Because your kids don't want it, so they are just going to throw them away. Wouldn't it make sense now to just sell them and put the money into college or a trust fund for them. Or even a rainy day fund and when they get older be able to take everyone on a vacation."
She looked at me and frowned, "I like them, I like them in my house."
"When was the last time you dusted them? Soon, your house will look like your daughters and in 20-30-40 years your children will be coming to you to throw out your stuff."
She paused, "I never thought of it that way."
"It may be an antique and could be worth 100s of dollars but if the children don't see the value in it because they think it's ugly, when you die it might just get thrown out and your reason for saving it, 'someday it will be worth a lot of money' is now lost."
I have decorative pieces I like, I will keep them a few more years. I will get rid of things I really haven't seen in five years that are in bins that I need to say goodbye to.
Letting go of tangible items isn't about giving EVERYTHING up. I mean you still want to decorate your home and have nice things up and that is fine. In fact I encourage it, you have to make a home yours, but when there is so much stuff that you look cluttered and no one has the time to appreciate any of it, what is the point.
If you can sell anything and create a savings account or trust fund for your kids, you should. Trust me EVERY child will appreciate money more than.... IN fact the appreciation rate of $30 in a savings account for 30 years is probably much higher than waiting for an antique chair to be worth more money in 30 years. Truth is, we have to let things go.
If you don't have kids and you just want to declutter, give things away as gifts. How many times have we had friends who say, "I really like that, it's beautiful." Give it to them. As long as you know they will benefit from that one item. IF they are cluttered, avoid donating to that person. ha ha
Items are memories, items are feel good things. When I go to estate sales I buy feel good items as I call them. I found an antique pewter tea pot, I can't use it, I just like the look of it. Now, from here on out, I have too many tea pots so if I get a new one I have to get rid of one. Same thing with tea cups, etc.. It is about balance. Finding the balance where the material items are not a representation of your happiness.
Grow that Garden!!!
Celeste
I once walked into a ladies home that I was to take care of. She had so much stuff everywhere. She said, "my kids told me I need to get rid of this stuff because they don't want to have to throw it away." Later that year I met her daughter, who collected dog things, stuffies, porcelain figures, etc.... I looked at her and said, "have you started getting rid of all your collectibles?"
"No why would I do that?" her daughter asked.
"Because your kids don't want it, so they are just going to throw them away. Wouldn't it make sense now to just sell them and put the money into college or a trust fund for them. Or even a rainy day fund and when they get older be able to take everyone on a vacation."
She looked at me and frowned, "I like them, I like them in my house."
"When was the last time you dusted them? Soon, your house will look like your daughters and in 20-30-40 years your children will be coming to you to throw out your stuff."
She paused, "I never thought of it that way."
"It may be an antique and could be worth 100s of dollars but if the children don't see the value in it because they think it's ugly, when you die it might just get thrown out and your reason for saving it, 'someday it will be worth a lot of money' is now lost."
I have decorative pieces I like, I will keep them a few more years. I will get rid of things I really haven't seen in five years that are in bins that I need to say goodbye to.
Letting go of tangible items isn't about giving EVERYTHING up. I mean you still want to decorate your home and have nice things up and that is fine. In fact I encourage it, you have to make a home yours, but when there is so much stuff that you look cluttered and no one has the time to appreciate any of it, what is the point.
If you can sell anything and create a savings account or trust fund for your kids, you should. Trust me EVERY child will appreciate money more than.... IN fact the appreciation rate of $30 in a savings account for 30 years is probably much higher than waiting for an antique chair to be worth more money in 30 years. Truth is, we have to let things go.
If you don't have kids and you just want to declutter, give things away as gifts. How many times have we had friends who say, "I really like that, it's beautiful." Give it to them. As long as you know they will benefit from that one item. IF they are cluttered, avoid donating to that person. ha ha
Items are memories, items are feel good things. When I go to estate sales I buy feel good items as I call them. I found an antique pewter tea pot, I can't use it, I just like the look of it. Now, from here on out, I have too many tea pots so if I get a new one I have to get rid of one. Same thing with tea cups, etc.. It is about balance. Finding the balance where the material items are not a representation of your happiness.
Grow that Garden!!!
Celeste
Monday, August 8, 2011
Yup it's true
Let's face it, letting go sucks.
It isn't an enjoyable process during but it is something we all benefit from in the end. So here is the thing I have to say about this.....
I have prayed long and hard, begged, pleaded and got ready to take a rocket into space to get my message to the powers that be. I NEED AN "F"ing break down here. I would like a larger house where I can run a daycare out of. Guess what, bammo, it was finally delivered. Took about a year but it's okay, I understand.
So anyway, now I have to rehome my rabbit, lizard and even my disabled father. I have to let go of personal items that I have loved. THIS is very hard. Though the place is double the size and will have one less person in the home, it also has the combination of many different locations going into one. IT is time to let go.
We hold on to these tangible items because we MIGHT make something cool out of it, we MIGHT give it to someone or my favorite, we MIGHT fit into it again. What is it that we are holding onto really? A memory, so why can't we take a picture of the item and write down the memory and scrap book everything we loved - we don't need it any longer. Why do we need to save everything to make something out of it someday? We all need to just let go, because these items are really nothing in the spiritual growth in life. Our Gardens do not need a 1000 gnomes, all they do is distract from the beauty of what we are trying to make and create with in our garden, with in ourselves.
It is time for me to start letting stuff go. So as I do, keep your eyes and ears out for your chance to benefit from my shedding of things. Like my pet rabbit and lizard, are looking for good homes. Donation requested and references preferred. Oh and remember, the universe is listening and in order to benefit from what it's saying you often have to be prepared to let go of part of your life to move forward.
It isn't an enjoyable process during but it is something we all benefit from in the end. So here is the thing I have to say about this.....
I have prayed long and hard, begged, pleaded and got ready to take a rocket into space to get my message to the powers that be. I NEED AN "F"ing break down here. I would like a larger house where I can run a daycare out of. Guess what, bammo, it was finally delivered. Took about a year but it's okay, I understand.
So anyway, now I have to rehome my rabbit, lizard and even my disabled father. I have to let go of personal items that I have loved. THIS is very hard. Though the place is double the size and will have one less person in the home, it also has the combination of many different locations going into one. IT is time to let go.
We hold on to these tangible items because we MIGHT make something cool out of it, we MIGHT give it to someone or my favorite, we MIGHT fit into it again. What is it that we are holding onto really? A memory, so why can't we take a picture of the item and write down the memory and scrap book everything we loved - we don't need it any longer. Why do we need to save everything to make something out of it someday? We all need to just let go, because these items are really nothing in the spiritual growth in life. Our Gardens do not need a 1000 gnomes, all they do is distract from the beauty of what we are trying to make and create with in our garden, with in ourselves.
It is time for me to start letting stuff go. So as I do, keep your eyes and ears out for your chance to benefit from my shedding of things. Like my pet rabbit and lizard, are looking for good homes. Donation requested and references preferred. Oh and remember, the universe is listening and in order to benefit from what it's saying you often have to be prepared to let go of part of your life to move forward.
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