GettingLost

I guess we all get lost from time to time.
Falling from our directive.
Even those we love the most can feel we fall short of their expectations.
It is there expectations though.

THE ONLY TIME WE ARE LOST
Is when we are trying to follow someone other person's idea of what our path should be.
I sometimes get so angry at the fact that people expect me to do or be something I can not do or be. 
I am as transparent as clear cellophane.
I open my wounds to others.
I show others I bleed.
I show my imperfections.
I argue my points.
I disagree with others.

BUT

I live on my path.
So if someone thinks I am lost, that is their perception.
If I feel like I am lost, I am probably trying to ride someone other persons expectations of me.

Authenticity means being honest with who you are.
Trying to be compassionate and loving towards others.
Not trying to hurt others when you don't agree.
But trying to find inner peace with the fact that everyone is on their own Journey!

If you think someone is lost stop and ask yourself,
Which Journey did I expect them to be on?
If a client comes to me and says, "I am lost,"
I always say,
"Whose Journey are you trying to follow?  Whose rules are you following on your Journey?"

Don't get lost,
Follow your truth
Live Authentically

AND

When you find yourself wandering
Enjoy the journey
It's not really being lost
It's called

EXPLORING

Get on your knees and pray to whatever you believe in

I uttered those words on my private facebook page.  

There was an out cry of fear.  People telling me that statement is ominous.  

How can a statement of faith be ominous unless you have fear or do not truly have faith?

First let me define my God:  He is not a traditional version of God.  My God is an energy of love, compassion, kindness, unending spiritual intelligence and did I mention Love.  He is the energy we all strive to be.

Let me start from the beginning:

I walked outside with my dogs and closed my eyes.  Sadness, fear and fatigue have been plaguing me.  My truest sadness feeling that we are at the end of days.  The ending feeling ever present over my shoulder.  I closed my eyes and felt a fire burning inside of me like none I have felt before.  A rage at the state of the world, the focus on the negative and I felt a tear fall down my face.  That is the moment an overwhelming calm washed over me.  A moment of pure bliss I have now assigned this sensation after years of working with spirit to Jesus.

The download was simple, "get on your knees and pray."

We spend more time in front of the internet reading articles, fighting with people, getting angry when people do not see our point of view that we forget to just pray.

Now let me define this for you.

Pray:  to address or make a solemn request of state appreciation and thanks to a deity, god, an object of worship.

This is not about saying a traditional Hail Mary or some other traditional prayer, this is about praying, and focusing on love, appreciation.

There is a real fear, kids are being killed, focus on negative impacts of politics, letting the color of skin, religious choices, politics and a cluster of a thousand other issues divide us.  We will never agree with everything our friends think.  We will never agree with every stance on an issue or view on a topic.  We have lost friends over how we vote, whether we believe in getting rid of AR-15 or how we choose to worship.  Why are we letting the world be divided by hate and fear?

We see movements towards equality and then we fear again.  Faith is something greater than us is lost and we flounder.  WE doubt because there is suffering.  Having faith through the ugly is truly the test of our belief is it not?  Is that not the time we have to send out more positive, love and compassion.  We need to work as a community to accept other peoples belief systems and story.  

Every religion can bring about positive out comes for the members if they hear the positive messages, not the fear written into the stories.  The bible was initially from God and then Man put his hand into the work and turned it into a fear based faith.  That is not what we are supposed to follow, fear.  Fear, hate, discord leads to negativity.

The devil is not going to bring about the end of days because humans are already doing that.  They are already creating their own discord.  We are destroying ourselves, our souls and the earth.

Change you.

How does your Garden Grow?

Monday ponderings

TRUE STORY

Last night I had a gallery and there was a man who came through.  His name was Al, as he was talking to his daughter he was ranting.  He was talking about how he was a hard worker and the problem with society today is we are a bunch of complainers.  Our boss is mean, oh boo hoo, go look for another job then.  Stop blaming the boss for your misery, if you are there you know how he/she is and you can just ignore it, learn how to deal with him/her.  Stand up for yourself, if you loose your job it wasn't meant to be.  Be thankful you have a job, car, roof over your head.  It's not the size of the house, the car you drive that defines success, it's how you enjoy your life!

NOW, this goes against every core of who I am.  To attack anyone because of their way of dealing with pain, hurt, crazy bosses.  However, he reminded me of a very important lesson, we sometimes choose misery.  The saying, "misery loves company", popped in my head.  It is true, in the land of social media we just have a complaint platform don't we?  People commiserate with us, send us the I am so sorry you are feeling this way posts.  Really though, no one can fix that for you.  No one is going to go up to your boss and yell at them.

When I was growing up my Dad worked 14-18 hour days nearly every day, 7 days a week.  Now I hear people bitch about only working 40 hours a week.  People love to complain, because then others complain and we have people who understand us, isn't it great?  That is the T-Rex, that is why he is here, because complaining eats everything up.  It can become a ginormous monster if we allow it, sharp teeth digging into us, destroying out joy.

Today I saw 20 complaints about daylight savings time, 7 abused dog photos, 27 complaints about the impending storm, and the list goes on.  We sit in negativity as a society sometimes, looking at all that is going wrong.  Is that because as a society we are all raised to fix things, or be a problem solver?  I am not sure but it is becoming more and more prevalent.  I have a lot of friends who have gone of social media completely and found center, balance and a better perspective of what is important to them.  

Be grateful for what you have, share when you can and if a job is making you that miserable, change it. 

How does your garden grow?

Blessings

Back to Blogging

Beauty

There is something beautiful about nothing. 

I don't know how to explain it really but to say it is simply ease.

I feel often in the quiet I am most closely connected to the source of love and light.

I would say when I am in silence I am most myself.

Silence works for me.

Here it is Friday, my phone is broken and I am looking at the computer.

I thought, what haven't I done in a while.

I have not sat in silence. 

I sat for a minute.

I realized how much I dislike human form.

I realized how much I dislike human stress.

I realized how much I dislike human disease.

I realized how much I dislike human complacency.

I realized how difficult being a human is.

I am not sure I have a solution for this condition we call life,

But it is just a condition.

A very short stay on a big world.

A very short stay in a dimension.

Then I thought, but many keep coming back.

Why do we want to come back here.

Touch

Smell

Taste

Love

Affection

There are wonderful things

Here

There

Everywhere

We often get stuck in the tactile sensations of human existence

We forget we are in charge of it

We choose what things we want

We choose what people we keep and let go of

We choose every day to direct our life

Yet many blame others for loss or failures

Some look at themselves for errors and get angry at themselves

None of that helps our souls grow

What does is

Silence

Sitting inside of ourselves

Releasing our fears

Our disdain for our humanness

Filling it full of LOVE

Filling the space with in our soul and heart with LOVE

Your time here may already be half over

It might be time to say goodbye tomorrow

Can you say you lived in love

You forgave yourself

Or were you always chasing the dollar

For what

A nicer car

House

Vacation

You will still die like the rest of us

When I chase dollars

It is for basics

For food

Cloth 

Modest Home

I just want 

SILENCE

LOVE

ACCEPTANCE

Shift perception

How does your garden grow

Book Writing and the Evolution of a Story

I am not the greatest writer.
I fail basic grammar rules.
I fail keeping my shit together.
I just fail at writing in a proper manner approved by American Standards but screw that noise.

What I fail in grammar correctness, spelling perfection I make up for in passion.
I make up with mental candy and spiritual thoughts.

I am not here to be perfect but to value where I excel and be okay with what I don't.

So here it is:

I was working on my book and at first it was my Ghost Stories and how I embraced by Medium status.  It was about how I embraced ME!  Well how egocentric is that?  I was like, "What are you doing Celeste?  Isn't the point of this book about helping others grow?"

I realized at that moment that this blog has been an evolution too.  As we spiritually grow we start to get more information that is maybe a little different than before.  As this goes on I realize that what I knew before was not wrong, it was correct for that passage in my Journey.

Jesus said to me today during a reading, "Everything is right and nothing is correct."  

All of our beliefs hinge on our up bringing and then the things we read and then.....

The more we explore, the more we push ourselves through meditation and study we learn even more.

My Journey is not right for everyone and some journey's are not right for me.  As I watch some people stop the journey I think, "that is all they need."

Let us not judge other people on their Journey.  Let us not tell them how to get there.  Do not belittle those who do not do as you do but raise them up to find their path.  Help light their way and if they diverge from your path pray a light will come to help them continue on their way.

Spirit, GOD, Universal Knowledge is at every persons spiritual finger tips.  You have to put the time and energy into the meditation, journaling, and studying however that suits you.  Follow your intuition as you study and follow your path.

My new book title.
Spiritual Growth and the BS that comes along with it.
If we can't smile, laugh and be with joy, we are missing the point of the journey.  One can not lead the spiritual evolution with a lower vibration of EGO over running their methodology.  I have taken my ego out of the story and focused on the how to and the consequences of choosing a more spiritual path.  The consequences like letting go of ego and letting go of energies that are pulling you down.  Having to let go of all your teaches and create a vulnerability like you have never felt.  Strip yourself of all trauma and trouble, to rebuild by taking what you need and leaving behind what you don't.

It is a story where I will touch on my experiences as an example but not as the story.
I lost my father in law, my uncle, my father to stroke and then death, my mother, my child inside of me and what is left, a rawness that I had to face.  That rawness in the last year has revised a ton of my understanding.

How does your Garden Grow?

I've been absent from my Blog but not my LIFE

Life has a funny way of twisting and turning is all around.

Since my last blog in June of 2016 my father has passed away, I have moved and I got an office.

In the grand scheme of things I have not written, not just because of the events in my life but because I have been present in my life.

As weird as it sounds I have been trying to make more of an effort of being present in my life and further away from electronics.  I realize that in some ways this has been a blessing and in other ways it has created a void between my creative self and my work/mother/sister/daughter/wife self.

I had spent many years on Improv and Stand-Up, creating laughter is a passion of mine that I dropped.

I had spent many years trying to be more focused on writing, creating thought or entertainment is a passion of mine I dropped.

Sometimes life does this weird thing of redirecting our ego into different directions.  This is not always a bad thing but it is a thing.

I am not more focused on blending all of my parts into one.

The first step is more meditation and being okay with making time for the electronics.  I should not fear the thing that allows me an opportunity to reach out to those I want to.

I am presenting a class on mindfulness as I am focusing more on those things myself.  I have so much knowledge and yet I have not been implementing the techniques and information I have learned.  I have forgotten to release my fear.

As I write this I am putting out to the universe that I trust they will bring forth what I need to honor all previous obligations financially and emotionally I have made.

Blessings to all,
I hope to get back to this blog more frequently and once I start my classes back up hopefully more posts to tie in to conversations regarding the classes.

Celeste

How does your Garden Grown?

Humanity and it's beautiful twisted faults

I AM NOT PERFECT

I have seen more and more people struggle with saying these four words.

I AM NOT PERFECT

I am allowed to make mistakes

I am allowed to fail people

I am allowed to be angry

I am allowed to be sad

I am allowed to be hurt

I am allowed to not like someone

I am allowed to make a judgment of what is best for me

I am allowed to be hateful 

I am allowed to experience every human emotions there is because I AM HUMAN

I am allowed NOT TO HAVE PERFECT PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR

BY GOLLY I AM HUMAN

STRIVING FOR PERFECTION

As spiritual beings many of us strive to not judge, be a pillar of love and kindness.  We try to talk ourselves out of our every day emotional experiences thinking we need to somehow rise above the humanity in us all.

I think it is beautiful when we get angry!

I think it is beautiful when we are moved to experience emotions.

I think it is necessary for humans to not see as life a battle between being an all loving and perfect soul vs our humanity.

We are here to learn lessons and each of those listed and many more are emotions or moments to grow from.  To just trust that we had a reason to experiences things the way we did.  To not judge ourselves as imperfect but rather imperfectly perfect.

I remember, a few years back, I struggled with accepting that I could be angry or not like people.  I may not like them but I still send them love and compassion.  I hope they grown and learn to be more soul like and less ego like.  The fact of the matter is though, we never will be just soul like until we die.  If I have a mentor come to me like she is already an Angel here I can not trust her.  I need someone who understands the fact we chose to come here and experience life again for a reason.  We should not walk away from the opportunity, but use it to understand how to be more soul like.  

I know that sounds a little contradicting but it isn't.

Our goal here is to experience our selves in a human form, all the while trying to keep in tact our souls purpose.  That purpose is to live in this body with love, compassion and kindness.  To be able to forgive our human side and move forward from the need to control every aspect of our existence.

It's okay to be imperfectly perfect.  Embrace that, love it.

Here I go, oh dear

I have not written in a while and there are a thousand reasons for this.
None of which are valid.
If I then look at the truth, much closer, I can blame Facebook.
I can blame work.
I can blame my children.
I can blame Facebook.

I get so wrapped up in wanting to get away that I forget that I need to get here. 

It is funny how we can waste precious moments of our life. 

I feel like it might be time to end an era. 

End the compulsive addiction to knowing what is going on in the world, and focus on the moments we have left with our world. 

I believe it is time to close down Facebook.

I admit to having an addictive personality, I easily can get wrapped up in stuff that lack importance.  Facebook, games, etc.

I know we need things to do for ourselves, to get away from it all, but that is why I used to write stories.  That is why I write at all.

I am not an English Scholar and screw up grammar stuff all the time.  I am just grateful that my spelling is not terribly atrocious. 

What I am realizing is this, time is precious and I spend far too much of it working.  I spend far too much of it on Facebook.  I am working to have a job that works for me and not me working for a job.  I am working towards doing what I love, teaching more, helping more and hopefully, if all goes well, being there for more people. 

I am going to be focusing on my Blog and questions you may have.

So please, if you can go to www.celestialmessagesct.com

You can also go to my Facebook page celestial messages ct

If you go to my web page it will tell you when I am updating stuff. 

Please consider your life and it's purpose. 

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in stuff, other peoples stuff, but why? 

How does your garden grow?

Mine is in the process of plucking weeds, and it is a much needed process.

Move on or pause and celebrate.

Pondering thoughts:

 

I was pondering, I was thinking, I was wondering if as a parent I am right, or am I wrong.  Not in a general black and white sense, but in a, for this kid do they need that, does my other kid need this.  I questioned myself about one thing, one very real, solid, tangible human experience that I wonder if we need it.

 

My daughter plays Cello and she loves it.

When she finishes a piece she moves forward.

She gets something harder, more complex, a challenge. 

Then she gets through that.

She moves on.

 

This is how learning an instrument works.

This is how education works.

This is how life works.

We learn to crawl.

We move on.

We learn to walk.

We move on.

We learn to run.

We move on.

We learn to babble.

We move on.

We learn to talk.
We move on.
We learn to sing.
We move on.
We move on.

So we celebrate the victories.
We celebrate the moving forwards and the bigger steps.
Do we celebrate the sitting still?
Do we celebrate the resting?
Do we celebrate the quiet peace?
DO WE CELEBRATE EVERYTHING?

What is wrong with sitting still?

What is wrong with not pushing ourselves to constantly move forward?

Why do the words unmotivated, lazy, even exist?

What if we could celebrate the quiet pauses in life once in a while?

Don’t just push through to victories because as you see above, every victory reached makes you set a new goal.  If one lives their lives constantly trying to move forward but never stops for the quiet pauses and enjoy them, have we even lived really?

Our life should not be constant stress.  It should be moving towards goals with many silent pauses in the middle where we can appreciate all we have done, all we continue to do and all we will become.

Life changes, why is it so hard?

I equate big life changes as this.

Many say they are like climbing up a hill to reach your destination.

I feel more like it's coming down the mountain after you reached the top and falling all the way down with no control.  You are dazed and confused when you get to the end and wonder, "How the hell did I get here and where the hell am I?" 

I prayed to open a daycare for YEARS.  I finally did, I worked hard to get here, but my heart is in helping others.  My heart is in my readings, healing, and spiritual pursuits.

When I was little I used to say I wanted to be a parapsychologist.  That I wanted to work with ghosts but you can't make any money doing that.  I have been proven wrong.  The other great thing about being proven wrong is that now I know what I can do and what I can't.

As I continue to muddle through this process of being pushed off the ledge I often question which direction is going to secure the future.  The funny thing is, really funny thing is, the changes that left me with scrapes, bruises and fear are the ones that have served me the best.  The ones where I felt like I was constantly against a wall pushing forward offered me the most lessons.

So the point is, life changes leave bruises and that is why it's scary.  We wonder how long it will take to heal?  How much time before I get to where I get all the ducks following me again and not tripping me up?  When I fell did I accidently tumble in the wrong direction?  Why am I further away than where I was before?  All of these who, what, where, when and whys leave is curled in a ball sometimes.  We sit there waiting for a rescue party but we realize our only way to our final destination is our own two feet.

So when you fall down the hill and you are wondering why the ground is no longer beneath your feet, when you finally stop.  Know that you were on the wrong path to begin with, so  now you are set right. 

Keep hiking on my friends.

How does your Garden grow?

Mine is growing by leaps and bounds.

ARCHER RELEASE

We all make mistakes
We all fuck up
We all hurt people
At some point if we continue to make the same mistakes
It becomes a choice
We need to accept that if we continue to lie to someone it's a choice
If we lie when we don't need to that is a choice
If we cheat once it could be a mistake
More than once, a choice
If we use hurtful words once it's a mistake
If we do it more than once it's a choice

Be the Archer. 

A-Accept
R-Recover
C-Change
H-Help
E-End
R-Release

Accept that you are not perfect and made a mistake.

Recover from the pain you caused yourself by the pain you have caused others.

Change your behavior that you keep repeating.  If you promise to change and then repeat the behavior again you have not changed and can not be upset if people block you out of their lives, even if temporary. 

Help yourself move on but let them know you have changed.  You CAN NOT make them forgive you but you can apologize so that you can move on.

End a relationship that keeps creating this toxic behavior in yourself.  Even if you love them it isn't right to continue to hurt someone.  Tuck this away as a lesson.

Release this situation and move on, promise yourself you are going to try to create a better, healthier pattern in other relationships. 

Be the archer. 

Oops

Oops

It's a simple word, I think I used it a ton as a kid. 
Oops I spilled the milk
Oops I broke the plant
Oops I dropped my bowl
Oops I killed a bug
Oops I broke my toy

What I find is, as I became an adult I stopped using oops.  I also stopped having humility.

Oops, I am sorry I hurt your feelings.
Oops, I didn't mean to forget your birthday.
Oops, I am sorry you feel I don't love you because I have been distant.

OOPS OOPS OOPS

I know very human beings lately who are okay with making mistakes.  Mistakes, it is a part of the human experience.

You know what else, I don't see anymore, people being honest.

Celeste you are complaining about something again.
Celeste you can't seem to get your head out of your rear end.
Celeste you are not being nice today.
Celeste you need to be more responsible for the way you present information.
Celeste.....

So I can say oops I am sorry but I can only apologize if real friends are honest with me. 

I have come to feel black listed from a certain group of people I loved a great deal.  Do you know what?
I have not asked them about it. 
I have not asked if they want to get together. 
I have not asked them if I did something wrong. 
They have not told me I have. 

So who black listed me?  I DID! 

Communication is so important so that it gives us a chance to say, "Oops I am sorry."  It also allows us the chance to walk away from something that doesn't serve us.  So if someone keeps telling us how horrible we are but 30 other people tell you that you are awesome, guess what you need to let go of?  Not the ones who love you.

So anyway, just some random thoughts written in a very free, fluid kind of thought pattern.  Maybe this makes no sense and it's a ramble of epic proportions.  Or maybe just one of you will understand why Oops and I am sorry need to come back.  Why true and honest friendships need to be front and center.  How it is we are all very much human. 

Forgive often (yourself and others)
Love deeply
Apologize honestly
Be honest
Open up channels of communication with out expectations
Be free of judgment of others

BREATHE

Humans: The Catch 22 of life

People often ask me what our purpose is here on earth.  Why do we live and why do we die.  What do we do to get it right?  The answer isn’t simple but it is achievable. 

Our souls come to experience the physicality of the world around them. 

They come to learn lessons so that they can achieve a greater soul vibration.

They come because they are going to be a lesson for someone else.

Our souls want to be able to thrive as a loving, giving soul among chaos and destruction that humans create.

The short answer, we come here to live.

We are not created to be perfect, but we come perfectly created.

As we grow so does our ego, so does our humanness.

I believe every person on this earth has a role, something to teach, from the Buddha to the killer, from the child to the adult, from the CEO of a large corporation to the homeless family on the street.

Our soul’s energy will resonate with different people depending on our goals. 

The dirtiest secrets in our world, the killers are here to teach us how to forgive.  (Not easy I know.)

The greedy humans are here to teach us to live simplistic and with very little. 

The Homeless on the street are here to teach us to give compassion and kindness no matter what their story.

The children are to remind us of our connection with the universe.

The adults are here to help the child follow their connection through life, no matter where it may lead.

Do not hesitate for a moment to not think that YOU are not important in this web we call human life.

With out you a child may not be born that will change the world.  With out you a homeless person may not get a smile one day.  With out you a pet may never find compassion.  With out you a plant may never be planted.  Every thing we do impacts the world around us and we all need to be a part of that.  The good, the bad and the downright ugly of this life all have a point, a purpose. 

Please do not think there is no purpose in this life.  You may not have the masses know your name.  You do have the opportunity to be famous to someone, because you have them a hug at their lowest point, or you offered them food or money when things got tough.  To someone you may be their beacon of hope that they can overcome greater obstacles in life because you did.

 

You are exactly where you belong. 

 

How does your Garden grow?

 

Remember to plant your bulbs (Dreams) now so they will blossom in the spring.

 

Love and light

I just need to hear it. I want to be part of a tribe.

I just need to hear it.  The elusive words we are all seeking.

I love you.
I am proud of you.
You are amazing.
I didn't know you had that in you.
Etc, etc, etc

For me it goes beyond that.  I think for many it falls into a broader category than the "I" it falls into the "us".

I love you turns into (we are together).
I am proud of you turns into (we are together)
You are amazing turns into (I enjoy your presence)
I didn't know you had that in you turns into (you have proven yourself worthy)

In the end Improv left me lonely as I do not have a tribe I belong to.
My stand up is lonely because I have no one near me to go to open mics with or knows how to even get things moving in CT.

In the end my tribe tends to be my spiritual friends.  So why is it that despite the greatest tribe around us we can still long for the tribe we don't feel like we belong or we haven't been accepted into?

I question this a bit as the loss of time devoted to Improv and comedy has dwindled I have quickly been forgotten and replaced by the new people, the young people, the cool people, and yup using high school mentality here.  Is it always this way for everyone or is it this way for those who didn't have a tribe early on?

I believe a great deal that people are pack animals, it is in our genetics somewhere.  Even those introverts who wish to be alone at times still want a small pack.  It isn't about the hundreds you could be with but those you enjoy being with.  Those who make you feel safe being you. Because in a pack the group is together, looking out for each other.

Even though in life we are ultimately alone in everything we do, it is the idea of the Zebra, they are all together, to distract the Lion but in the end they need to run alone.  We still need those other Zebras to feel safe.

I am not sure these ramblings make any sense but a huge part of who I am and was for the last two years is gone and rather lonely.  So it got me thinking about how blessed I am and lucky I am for what I do have.  Yet sometimes, that isn't enough.  I just need to hear it.

You are funny turns into (we laugh with you).
You should join us for improv turns into (you are not that shitty we want you with us).

The damage that is done to our brain when we are kids.  Not fitting in, not feeling like people care about you, spending every night alone at home reading, translates into, I just need validation.

Is it a bad thing to validate people?  I mean if it is true, I never encourage lying.  What if we don't lie, what if we tell people they are no good?  Would they stop trying to be part of that tribe and heal?  Would it cause more damage?

I have answers, I know what I need, I need truth.
I have answers for me.
You have answers for you.

How is your Garden growing?

We expect a lot as a bunch of runaways

You would think that a country built on people running from their home land to avoid religious persecution; we would be more free and open to others opinions.  The only thing that our forefathers took with themselves is the feeling of them being right and others being wrong.

So we killed the natives.
We stole people from their homes and enslaved them.
We denied marriage, equal rights for all and yet that is and was the exact thing we were trying to run from.

I question the integrity of the human soul at times when I see others hurt. 

I question the integrity of the human spirit when we say others are less worthy of food, shelter or money.

I question the integrity of the human condition when we allow humans suffering on the streets with their children.

I question the integrity of the human mind who feels money is more important than kindness.

I question the integrity of the human ego, oh wait, no I don't.

Our souls are meant to be compassionate and yet I hear political arguments about whether we should supply money or food stamps and how those people shouldn't be able to buy certain foods.  YET, no one wants to teach them to live on their income and/or teach them how to purchase healthy foods and eat right for less.  Can they even do it these days?

DO YOU KNOW WHO IS STARVING?  OUR CHILDREN? 

How much would we benefit if Human Services became Humane Services and taught people the benefit of gardening, healthy foods, how to shop on a budget and make your money stretch.  How to plan meals and help your children with homework, or even the basic concept of loving oneself so they have a desire to better themselves.

Instead they run away, some to drugs, others to depression, anger, blame, and we could change the world if we lived off the principle of guidance and help.

If we became HUMANE services not human service.  If we serviced the entire person and not just the symptoms of their suffering.

Lead a horse to water and you can not make him drink, but if you give him the tools to find his way to the water, he will surely drink and appreciate it more.  This is not a model for all, but for most.

Growth is about tools, evolution is about tools, yet we keep running away and blaming.

Also, stop laughing at The People Of Walmart, do you know their story?  How dare we judge!!!!  Let them be themselves, let them have mistakes, let them be who they are with out fear of persecution, isn't that why our forefathers came here? 

When do we stop the persecution and start the humane services.

Reconciling my Emotional Bank Account

I have spent YEARS reconciling my emotional bank account.
I am constantly trying to own my own emotions.

EBA= Emotional Bank Account a record of all of the emotional deposits and withdrawls you have made.  Including the why you felt that way and how you feel if certain events happen to you.

How many times have I told you and even myself, "No one makes us feel a certain way, we feel it ourselves."  They do not demand we feel betrayed, forgotten, lost, alone, angry, hurt, sad, broken hearted, happy, joy, peace, emotional bliss, etc., etc., etc.

We have been conditioned through life experiences to react in certain ways to events.

WE created a reaction to let downs, to words, to behaviors and we created these at an age where all we have is reaction, with little logic connected to the process.

The ego was strong, yessss?

So I go through and I do this reconciling of my emotional bank account. 

I do this systems check so to speak, "why when I hear laughter from my comedy do I feel fulfilled, yet as soon as I am off the stage I feel like I am no good?"

WHY?

Why because, not just with Improv or Standup, not just with Mediumship or Spiritual Guidance, not just with Kickball or Softball, not just with Birthday Parties or Summer Outings but lots of things I was created to feel not good enough.  My entire life was trying to live up to others expectations and living in the fear that I would fail them.  So many times I would reach them but was still told I was failing them somehow. 

When you grow up in a house where you are stuck between a mother who loves you and tries to build you up and a father that is not present but willing to tell you what is you have failed at, you grow up feeling self important and yet useless.

Such a contradiction of emotions and a struggle that is real. 

I am sharing a TON of personal information and there is a point.  This isn't really about me because I have reconciled my EBA (you can use that term too) but more than that it's an on going process.  Just like anything else in your life, we have to maintain our EBA.  We can't just buy our pets food for a month, it's a committment.  We can not just pay our bills when we feel like it, we have to committ to the process.  (Though some of us have struggles and can't pay things just to make ends meet, please do not judge yourself, please be at peace with where you are.) When we are born it is a life long committment to being the best we can be.  Some choose to embrace this and others run from it and blame the world.

I think our EBA is the most over looked area of our lives.  What if I asked you for a moment to think back to when the last time you were angry at someone?  Could you define why?  Not the situation that made you angry but the deep down core to the trigger that made you angry?  Did they let you down AGAIN?  Did they seem to talk down to you?  What was the core and how far down does that core go?

I try so hard to step back and check in with my EBA when I get angry.

I can say there is one truth about me that I struggle to change.  If someone lies to me I can not forget.  I can forgive but I will never let you in my life the way you once were.  Surface may seem fine but inside you broke the glass menagerie that is my heart.  You took a chip out that can not be replaced and I will not allow myself to be subject to that again!  WHY?  Because my entire childhood was a lie and when I found out about that lie in my 20s I grew angry.  So angry that I wanted nothing more then death.  I remember telling my mother that I believed that God made a huge mistake leaving me hear when I could have easily had that dog kill me when I was eight years old.  I remember the event like it was yesterday.  I was watching the entire event from above my body and as I was hanging out in Heaven I was told I had to come back and had work to do, I was angry.  I spent most of my life into my late 20's being angry and blaming the world.  I didn't like me then and I certainly would never want to live that way again!

So I spend a lot of time working on my EBA.  I spend many days questioning my reaction, where does it come from and how do I change my trigger reaction to similar events.  I do this so I can be a better human for one and two so people have less power over my good day. 

SO I CAN CHOOSE HAPPY!

So how does your spiritual Garden Grow?

Celeste

Did you just judge me? Shame on you!

HOW DO YOU TALK ABOUT NOT JUDGING WITH OUT SOUNDING LIKE I AM JUDGING THOSE WHO JUDGE?  

I don’t hate you.

I don’t judge you.

 

What in this society has created a belief that if people have a different view/belief that they are judging you?  

As a Medium, Healer, Teacher I come across this a lot with my peers.  

WE have to remember as a collective that all of us teachers are here for a reason.  We are all teaching various versions of a similar story so that we can reach more people.  Not one of us is above or below each other.  We are walking side by side, hand in hand, embracing, engulfing those who are seeking answers with love.  We may not be the right person for them and that is okay.  There journey is different than ours and in the end we just wish them well on their journey.

I have hit this wall time and time again where I disagree with someone and question where their belief came from and suddenly I am judging them.

I no way am I judging anyone but I did not grow until people pushed me to question where my understanding of God, The Devil, and The Universe comes from.  Where did my idea and belief system build from and was there anything there that no longer served me but I held on to like a security blanket.  To be a proper teacher one must first put aside their beliefs and help the student question theirs.  In turn possibly changing the teacher’s belief or the students.

If I state that I do not believe in ORBS because I understand the science that is my choice.  If you do not like that I hand you the science behind it that becomes your belief but I am not going to back down from my belief.  I believe we were given spirituality and science to coexist so we are not tricked and deceived by others.  That is my belief and if you believe differently than so be it.  I will not sit here and judge you.

The stronger you are in your convictions and beliefs the more people feel judged.  I question my beliefs CONSTANTLY; I am continually looking for more answers and perhaps a variation of my understanding.  I am not seeking those who think exactly like me but those who wish to broaden their beliefs.  In the end we are all hear to learn, listen, talk, ask question.

DISCUSSION in and of itself means that you will discuss topics, ask questions, state points of view.  There is a beauty in understanding that each person’s journey is different and that I am okay to believe what I want to believe.  I don’t want people to follow others blindly; I want them to ask themselves, “WHY DO I BELIEVE THIS!”  If you do not agree with me I don’t think you are judging me. 

Ask questions, that is how you learn.  Answer questions that are an even more important part of the learning process.  Do not turn your back on those who make you uncomfortable in your faith.  It may be time to listen or question your own beliefs.  Breathe through these changes in life and do not take everything personally.

I am not here to judge but guide.

You are not here to judge but guide.

We are not here to judge but guide one another through this thing called life.

Now if someone resorts to name calling and slandering you behind your back, they are judging and they on a very different path than you.  You can choose to stay around and try to help them or you can decide to get out of dodge.  I usually recommend the last option.  Nothing good has ever come from me trying to reason with an aggressor.  Just don’t assume people are judging you due to lack of agreement though.  Not everyone is on the same path and that is AOKAY!

What happened to real human interaction. The face of over sensitivity.

I wonder what has happened to society at times.

Have we been raised that discussion simply means each person states their thought and opinion and we leave it at that?

What happened to proper communication and explanation?

What happened to, "I don't agree with you and here is why?"
What happened to, "I don't agree with you so I was wondering why you feel the way you do?"
What happened to, "I may still not agree with you but it's your life/journey?"
What happened to, "I am not offended by everything that everyone says that doesn't fit into my bubble?"
What happened to listening? 
I know, people have grown to be completely insulted by others not agreeing with them and it doesn't make sense to me. 
I will question you about your beliefs, I want to UNDERSTAND where you came from and how you came to where you are. Not because I am right and you are wrong, but because all of our unique experiences in life lead us to new roads to travel. 

I was always taught to read the book from front to back.  Not to just read the ending.  I like to know the story, not the ending.  We as humans are fascinating creatures and I see nothing wrong with wanting to explore a humans belief system or needs.

I don't understand a lot of what America has become.  I do not understand a lot of what we as humans in general have become.  I am just sitting here trying to understand why we can not do the following things.  I promise if we did, nothing else would ever matter.

1.  Treat each human being the way they should be treated.  WE ALL MATTER

2.  Be kind to each other.

3.  We all deserve the same rights with love and life.

4.  We all deserve the right to practice the faith and/or spiritual course we believe in.

5.  We should all be a little more buddhist.

6.  Love is free and should be shared with those in need.  A hug doesn't cost you anything but a few seconds of your time.

Be kind, listen, understand and when you are yelling at someone about their poor behavior, reflect on what it is saying about what is going on inside of YOU!

Love, Light and Blessings.

Pain is a moment

HEART ACHE         

 

My beautiful son is 14 experienced his first break up.  The emotional struggle the same as any adult going through a break up, divorce, etc.  Children feel pain just as strongly as we do.  Their relationships may not be as physically and emotionally mature as ours but the love is real.  I am tired of the concept of pain and hurt having expirations days and should vary in degrees based on how long you have known each other.  Surely the loss of a mother is harder than the loss of a partner.  This is not true, this is not true at all.

 

Love=Hope

 

Hope=Dreams

 

Dreams=Future

 

All are crushed in one moment.  In one small moment a good bye can have a devastatingly emotional impact on your life.

 

When someone comes to me grieving from any kind of loss the first thing I say is, “your grief is unique to you and we may or may not experience grief in the same way.”  There are tools and tricks to help move through grief but truth of the matter is grief can stick around for days, months, years, a century.  I worked with a client whose husband died 10 years ago and she still could not let it go.

Tricks to moving forward:  

Focus on positive things

Focus on friends

Focus on family you have.

 

No one persons’ heartache is harder or worse than any other persons.  We need to let others experience it how ever they need to.  Breathe and help them through it simply by being there.  Let them breathe into the pain.  I always say that, “breathe into the pain.”  We need to learn to just breathe and experience the pain, experience the moment for what it is.  Each moment is different and will be completely new.  So let it happen, let it be felt.  Then we learn how to navigate through the future pains.

Approval

THE DEAD HAVE SPOKEN

 

One of the things I have struggled with is trying to remember that I have CHOICE in this world.

 

So I can let someone calling me a narcissist as a blow and cry about it.  I could try to change their mind, or I could just accept that it is one persons’ opinion and their opinions about who I am does not define me. 

 

WHAT?

 

From the moment we are born we are seeking our parents to help us.  We seek their approval as young children, in our teens we seek the approval of our peers, teachers, than fellow employees, bosses, etc.  We constantly try to seek the approval of others, why?

 

Because this is how we are raised.  It isn’t any fault, it is in our nature to seek the approval of others.  I believe it goes back to the entire hierarchy in humans that exists in the animal kingdom.  If you are not approved of or accepted you are many times kicked out of the group and left to fend for yourself.  That could spell certain death in the wild.  (This is not a scientific study I read this is from my own personal observation.)

 

So as we use our primitive chimp brain which I will call our human side.  Then there is the soul who just craves love, peace and compassion.  I feel most empaths or sensitive will say that this can and will breaks our hearts during times of distress and struggle not only in our lives but around the world.  We have to seek a reason.  We are constantly wondering why people like us who try to spread joy, love are so often harshly judged.  We do one thing that is not deemed spiritual we are attacked for being human.  It doesn’t make sense.

 

As I was meditating one day I had Jesus say to me, “we all fall short of others expectations.  The higher they place us the easier it is to fall down.  That is why it is important to define yourself as human first and foremost.” 

 

Guess what, I am human. 

Welcome to humanity. 

I am not some angel.

I am not some guardian.

I am first and foremost a human here to learn lessons.

Perfection is no human beings to claim.

Be comfortable with your failures.

If people don’t like you walk away.

It’s their filters, their problem and somehow you were part of their lesson.

If you know you do all you can for the good of humanity and the moments of human nature have snuck in and they judged you, it’s time to walk away.

Be brave in your skin.

Strive to follow your SOULS requests.

Be okay with others judgements, we do not need their approval. 

We need only have approval of our own soul.